Battle.

As Colbie would say, "this is a battle"....but it's internal.

What to do when being myself creates tension?  I am not good at sugar-coating and I don't see any reason to do so.  If I can't be honest with someone, we're not friends.  If they are close-minded, I don't respect them.  Even though I am passionate about things, I try very hard to always say "this is what I've read...this is what I dug up from researching it...this is why I feel this way...but if someone has researched it and is open-minded, but they still disagree, that's perfectly OK, and is wonderful, in fact!  I just wanted to share for possible benefit of anyone out there."

It never occurs to me to not share thoughts, feelings, passions, and things I feel others can learn from (articles, books, etc.) - because I live my life constantly learning and taking in, it never occurs to me that people might not appreciate them.  I'm not trying to suggest I know everything, or that others should think the same thing I do, not at all.  I just want to keep absorbing ideas and sharing them.  But does it make me a know-it-all?  I don't feel like one, I feel like there's so much I don't know and I admit that all the time.  

What do you do when people around you seem to be insecure and close minded? What do you do when your choice seems to be (a) be yourself and understand that you have to be your own best friend or (b) keep quiet, hold yourself back, don't share - to make other people more comfortable?


In truth, I am venting about this, but I won't act or not be myself.  A true friend will love me for who I am, and I can be honest.  I am no where near perfect, but I love being me, and I don't want to be anyone else.  Not even a little. It's a battle in my head, but not in my heart, because that part of me is good.  :)  

I see London, I see France...

...and I'd rather live there than here.  That seems to make people angry. Here's another vent.

Wes and I have always agreed that we might end up moving overseas for lots of reasons.  The reasons began with us just loving to travel - since we love new places so very much, why limit ourselves to only this country?  The reasons grew as our (the US's) politics became laughable and broken, our education system went down the toilet, and our health care system reached a level of ridiculous we never predicted.  If we were to raise children, why would we choose to live somewhere second-rate?


We get judged by people who claim that the United States is the best place to live.  By whose standard?  Sure, there are advantages to growing up here, and it's a much better place to live than many countries in the world.  But "best of the worst" isn't close to "best" - and there aren't any advantages to hold us here.  The only solid positive people can give me about the US is that "this is where the money is" - to me, all the more reason to leave.  If the majority of the world's money is here, WHY do we keep falling in the rankings in terms of education, health care, etc.?  It's absurd.  It's greed.  I don't care where the money is, I care about my quality of life.  And other countries are better by leaps and bounds than here in terms of quality of life.  Someone asked me how someone else could determine quality of life.  In my opinion, it's not that hard to measure.

Mercer Human Resource Consulting, a AMERICAN company (started here, now operates internationally) does a study every year about quality of life.  They take into account MANY things (you can see them all on the website link at the end of this article), including political and social environment, economy, health care,  educational, natural environment, transportation, recreation, consumer goods, housing, jobs, etc.  In the list of the top 50 cities in the world, the US only has 8, and they're at the bottom: Honolulu, San Francisco and Boston being our highest-rated.  But the BEST cities aren't in the US at all.  You can see which are at the top here (it links to the actual study as well):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cities_by_quality_of_living

Considering the research, why would we NOT consider moving to Europe or Australia?  Cities there have superb quality of life, and that's what we care about - giving ourselves and any children we might have a great quality of life.

Someone actually made the statement that moving to Europe is a bad idea because Americans are hated in other countries.  I say - not true - people around the world only hate ARROGANT Americans who think their country is the only great one in the world.  So, yes, those people should probably stay here.  But if all the ignorant/arrogant folks who really think they can claim the US is the #1 place in the world stay here and all the educated/open-minded folks move to other countries, the US is going to implode.  It may already be imploding.


I liken that bad attitude to saying "Apple pie is the only damn pie worth eating and everyone should like it best!" - when you haven't considered trying any other pies.  Eat apple pie all you want, but you may be missing out, and you need to be happy for other people who prefer peach or chocolate and not judge them even an inch.


I completely respect people being intelligent, doing the research, and then deciding the US is the place that fits their lives the best.  That is wonderful for them, it honestly is.  But for them to claim "it's the best country" and to not understand why others would want to move is pretty arrogant.  Why don't they just say "The US is best for me right now, so I am here at this point" and respect that the same is not true of others?


There are some things we really like about life here.  There are some things we hate.  But this "we're #1" propaganda-fed attitude is one of the reasons I want out sometimes.  It's uneducated, unfounded, and disrespectful to other countries who ACTUALLY have much higher quality of life ratings than us.  Be open-minded.  Have your opinions, live the way (and in the place) you feel best about, and be HAPPY for us if we decide our best place is not here.  How could anyone claim to care about us if they weren't truly happy for us moving where life is best for us?

On a more positive note, Wes isn't sure about some parts of Europe (i.e. Austria and Switzerland), but WOW on the quality of life ratings for their cities.  His only fear - that they might be too cold.  I have the same fear of Canada, which has great ratings.  Wes's family is in Auckland, and that's #4 on the list of the best, and it's really nice, but feels too small to me.  Sydney, Australia is a place we'll consider highly, as is Melbourne.  If we decide to stay in the US, we'll definitely be visiting San Francisco and Boston to check them out.  

Links: 
What they measure for Quality of Life: http://www.mercer.com/referencecontent.htm?idContent=1380465

Mercer Study Overall: http://www.mercer.com/qualityofliving

Banned Books = Bad.

I don't believe in banning books.  It doesn't seem right - why should any book be banned?  People may hate a book, or disagree with it, but if you believe in people's right to disagree with you or have different beliefs than you, why should you not allow them to be expressed in book form?  

Books are another way of sharing ideas, just like websites or verbal discussions.  I understand wanting to keep pornography from children, sure.  That's why libraries are divided into age-appropriate sections in schools.  But if you don't believe in something from a certain popular book (i.e. Lord of the Rings or others), you can't suggest we should pull it from shelves because of YOUR personal beliefs or preferences.  That's unfair to the rest of the people in your community who believe differently from you.  Plus, if your child happens to read something you disagree with, be an adult and give them the chance to hear your opinion, but to think freely for themselves on the matter.  Trying to suppress ideas is the number one way to give them power.

If you ban ONE book because of someone's beliefs, what's to say you won't have to ban half the books in the world?  It is people's personal responsibility to decide what they want to read and don't want to read, but NOT theirs to determine what others can read.

Our world should be about learning at every corner, not sitting in stagnant ideas for fear of new ones.  And it seems to me that parents or leaders who try to control the flow of ideas in their families or populations (outside of normal age-appropriate issues) are actually doing a disservice to those people.

My three cents. 

 

Yum.

I am on a restaurant kick right now - I want to try lots of good ones.  I have made great progress so far - I've been to a lot that were on my list for various reasons, including 14 of the top 50 in Atlanta.  If anyone needs an upscale-dinner date, you know who to call. :)

 

BANG

At about 1:40 AM last night, we were awoken by a huge explosion right outside our window and total darkness - it was a bit like a cartoon, we both bolted straight up in bed.  Me: "What was that?" - Wes "I don't know..." - then a second explosion, and we literally grabbed each other.  We were disoriented, but it was clear that it was a transformer, as the power had gone out.  We got up and started to check things out.  Laptops and other things seemed fine.  The power came back on, and then another explosion and the power was out again.  We unplugged everything possible and tried to settle back into sleep.  I fell asleep, but Wes was awake for ages - he heard the trucks coming out to fix it almost immediately.  We were lucky that nothing got hurt by power surges or anything, but it was a bit freaky because it was so loud and so dark, and so clearly close to our apartment. And also because Wes had to go and say that "that's what causes fires."  Thanks, sweetie.  No fire, so that's good.  But I did think before going to sleep that in the event of a fire, Wes could calmly tell me exactly what to do, but that we also need a plan in the event of a fire exactly what to grab before getting out. 

On another note, we've had some freaky weather here tonight - a monster thunderstorm with wind and hail.

Quick photo update.

Just a few photos of current life...

#1 - Callie loves the new couch and loveseat.

#2 - Went to Stone Mountain for my sister's birthday, took Sean and Ethan.  Ethan loves corn, and he's hilarious eating it.

We also went to Wes's Fire event - after all of his recruit class passed their state exams, they hosted a cookout for family and friends.  They also divided up into teams and put out propane fires to show us how it's done - was very cool.

Reason and Anger.

I used to get angry and upset easily.  Now, it takes a pretty big thing to really upset me.  I am quite glad of it - I feel like I have grown and become better.  But it seems that when others are upset, they get frustrated with calm reason.  They see it as being cold and unfeeling.  I'm not cold and unfeeling, but I know that emotions usually don't make sense, so I try to separate them from arguments and be reasonable.  Even if someone is going to yell or call names, it seems so transparent - they're upset, and they want me to be upset, so they do those things.  I won't do them back, because I don't want us to be upset, I just want resolution.

Good to remember...
"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak." - Michel de Montaigne

We don't need no stinkin' cars!

I say this is great news for our generation!


http://autos.yahoo.com/articles/autos_content_landing_pages/1523/generation-y-giving-cars-a-pass/

RIP - Wes's Nanna

Wes's Nanna in Australia passed away yesterday after quite a long battle with cancer.  I wish I had been able to meet her...according to Wes, she was a very sweet lady.  She passed away in her sleep, very peacefully, after being able to say goodbyes to her family.  Last month, a large number of family members went to Australia for her birthday, so it's very special that everyone was able to see her before she passed.

I know it's hard when it's your own family or friends, but I try to consider the positive side of death...how very natural it is in the cycle of life...how I don't believe anyone is truly gone, but changes forms.  

Fall TV = excellent.

Fall TV, how I love thee.  But with class all evening for 2 nights of the week, I suspect we're about to get very behind on our shows...thank goodness for DVR.  I am just hoping the memory doesn't get full.

Right now, we're DVRing/watching (or will be starting this week)...


1. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart & The Colbert Report: I don't stay up late enough, but I love these shows, so I try to watch them the next day on DVR.  I get a dash of news and a dash of laughs at the same time.

 2. Oprah: I've never really watched Oprah, and I know some people dislike her for various reasons.  But I will say that most of the time, she talks about subjects that are important.  I am often inspired by some of the people on the show.  Other times, the subject matter is just really relevant to life and after watching, I research things further, and that's a good thing.  For example - yesterday she talked about the state of education in our country and the new documentary "Waiting for Superman" - which I'd like to see now.

 3. Dancing with the Stars: I don't know how we got hooked, but we are.  However, this new season feels a little weak to me, so we may not watch fully this time around.

4. The Event: I love mystery shows.  So we're going to see if we like this one.

5. Vampire Diaries: everyone on the show is just so good looking!  Sure, there are vampires, which are getting overdone in entertainment right now, but we're involved in the story with this one now.

 6. GLEE: I don't have to explain.  Glee is incredible.

7. Modern Family: I don't have to explain this one either - also wonderful.

 8. Fringe: I love this show.  A little love, a little science fiction, a little crazy technology, a little humor.  I really need to start at the beginning and watch all the DVDs, because I did miss a beginning chunk of the story.  


Wes also watches:
The League 
Sons of Anarchy
30 for 30
Surviving the Cut

I'd love to watch other good shows, but I'd have to survive on 4 hours of sleep a night, and I need at least 8. :)


And don't even get me started on the 30 or more shows I have on my Netflix queue to watch...we're in the middle of True Blood on DVD and The Tudors on DVD as well!


I still miss LOST.

I think we almost got scammed...

...during our peaceful afternoon of reading (both doing schoolwork), we hear a knock at the door.  It's  a nice Hispanic girl named Anna.  She says she's a CNA part time, and a communications major at Kennesaw State.  I was a communication major there, so I ask her a few questions and she seems legit.  She is selling magazine subscriptions to try and get enough points for a trip to London through a non-profit program.  She shows us the magazines (on a card).  She says it's a tax write off and shows me the carbon copy receipt.  It looks OK, and I don't mind contributing to her trip.  So we order 2 magazine subscriptions (buy 2, get 1 free - so we get Golf Week, Budget Travel, and Cosmo).  I want to write her a check, and she says she gets immediate points if we pay cash.  We say we only have $10 cash.  She asks if we want to go to the ATM, I say no - weird.  So I write a check for the rest ($90, which seemed steep).  As soon as she leaves, we feel odd, so I look up the prices for these magazines - and they're the same or less than what we paid, so that seemed off.  So I Google the company name (Triple Seven, Inc.) and immediately find websites of folks saying it's a scam, two months later they had still not recieved magazines and they couldn't contact anyone at the company (she did give us their number), etc. 

So I went outside and chased her down and got my check back.  I let her keep the $10 cash.  Wes felt sort of bad that we aren't helping her with her trip (we're all about people traveling), and she told me she's NOT scamming anyone, and that it takes up to 120 days to start getting the magazines.  I told her I was sorry, but really can't risk it.

I hope we didn't do something mean, but it seems too risky to me....

My trip to the allergist.

First trip to the allergist involved 40 small needle sticks and 8 larger ones.  I thought I was having a good day with my allergies - I could breathe some through my nose.  But she said I had serious swelling in my nose (boo) and drainage issues.  Gross, I know.  But the strange thing was my testing came back positive with trees, weeds, and grasses...and that's mostly spring and fall.  But my allergies are year-round.  So I have two nose sprays to try (morning and night)...and if that's not fixing things in a few weeks, I have to get a CT scan for my sinuses.  The doctor suspects I have chronic sinus issues, and I think she is probably correct.  I've just gotten used to them.

Good news is that I don't have asthma, and that was a concern.

So we're still in the middle of the solution, but I hope we're on the path to better health! 

This is what you shall do.

Just read this, and love it.

“This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.” - Walt Whitman

I thought tea parties were for fun?

Seems to me like the Tea Party is going to ruin all chances of Republican success in November.  It was the moderates in this country who won the election for Obama - those people who weren't sure which way to go, but knew the Republicans were too extreme for them.  And two years later, the Tea Party is winning primaries?  But they're more extreme than anyone, so when they get to actual elections, they'll lose.  Instead of creating a more moderate, tolerant, and cohesive Republican party, they seem to be dividing into tiny sects.  That makes them more easily defeatable, so I don't really understand the point.

One of the Tea Party primary winners actually claims Democrats and independents will vote for her (not likely).  When one of her campaign workers was asked what the candidate might do to attract independents or even Democrats, Ms. Bush said, “I think people are smart enough now to know the world we are living in is going wrong and we need people like her to make it right.”  So the answer is.....nothing?  She doesn't have to do anything and people will just vote for her, even though she is ideologically polar opposite from them?  How is this even logical? 

Just my two cents.

I do like tea. 

Lucky ducks.

We are lucky ducks.

No, really.  We are.  We always have good luck.  It's weird.  But when I think of the accumulated times things could have gone badly and they just went wonderfully, I think we're exceptionally lucky.  Maybe it's the Irish in me...

I can think of loads of examples.

1. One time, Wes accidentally left his keys on top of my car in Kennesaw, and then we drove to Atlantic Station in midtown.  When we realized they were missing, we searched all inside the car and in the parking deck of Atlantic Station, then drove back to Kennesaw and searched his parking lot there, only to realize he left them on top of the car, so they could be ANYWHERE on the side of I-75 for a long stretch.  And then we discovered them - hanging on between the trunk and the back windshield of my car, for that whole long drive to midtown and back.  Lucky us!

2. During our honeymoon in New Zealand, we were out on a limb all the time in cities we'd never been to.  One morning (due to a foreign alarm clock mis-use) we woke up with about 10 minutes to get ready, get packed, and get blocks away to catch a bus to Queenstown.  But we made it, and laughed about it.  In the middle of our packed-itinerary in Queenstown, we were able to use the massage certificates Wes's sister and her husband bought us for Christmas because the bus that took us on a tour just happened to drop us off (literally) at the door to the spa.  We didn't plan to visit the most beautiful place on earth (in my opinion - the Christchurch Botanic Gardens) or to visit the best fruit stand I've ever seen, but we just did, and we felt so lucky.  (On a side note, we plan to renew vows at some point, and I plan to do it in those gardens!)

3. We find really great deals on things we need - furniture, cars, electronics, etc.  I do some research, yes.  But we just have great luck spotting JUST the right thing on clearance AND having a coupon.  It's great.

4. We both have jobs that allow us great benefits, security, and the ability to save money for travel and pay off debt quickly.  I am making over double car payments each month...and that feels good.

5. We haven't been to school for quite a while, but I passed my GRE and got into graduate school and have done quite well keeping up so far.  Wes was one of over 1,000 applicants for 20 firefighter position.  Not only did he make it through the taxing application and testing process, but he was chosen to be a firefighter and has dealt with a seriously tough training and education course for the last few months.  And he's passed ALL of his tests, even the hard state ones to become a certified firefighter.  I am so proud. :)

I could go on...but it's sufficient to say I feel lucky all the time.  We try to celebrate the good things and let the bad things roll off our backs easily, so maybe that affects things and makes us remember the positive instead of the negative.

Interesting fact: The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

 

The importance of sitting in one place and reading...

"The Importance of Sitting in One Place and Reading" was considered by Art Bystander, which observed: 

"Sometimes you want to have a conversation, an interaction, and the real life ones don't fulfill those needs. Well, sitting with a book at a cafe, in a plaza or a park, a hotel room or in bed, these are the conversations I need to have. It is sitting with like-minded people, or with people I look up to. It's an opportunity to see new parts of the world, new perspectives, experience emotions and situations I may never experience. And most importantly it puts my own life in context."

Amen to that.

Letting go.

I am learning about letting go of people...and it's hard.

I initially learned (a few years back) about letting go of people who still wanted to hang on to me - toxic friends who only brought me down.  That was almost like breaking an addiction - you know something's bad for you, but you're used to it, so you let it stick around.  Now I've grown and this type of letting go comes easily.  If you're a friend and you're not bringing anything positive to my life, I will just let go.  I don't mean this in a selfish way - I don't consider you physically making me prosper being necessary.  A friend can have low times and need my love, that's normal.  It's still positive for me to help someone through a tough time.  But there does come a point when it's just all negativity.  And a line is drawn there.

Right now, I am learning about letting go of people who just already let go of me, or people who never really wanted me in the first place.  Friends who say no every time I ask them to see me.  Friends who want me to be fake and put on an act so their lives are nice and smooth.  Friends who just don't care if I come or go.  Not really friends at all.  But I wanted them to be, so very badly.  And letting go makes me feel alone and uncared for, so it's tough.  But I am trying to move on.  Trying hard.  

I am ultimately also going to have to learn to let go of expectations with SOME people in my life.  There are some people who will always be around, no matter what.  And they always seem to let me down in some ways, so I'd be stronger if I learned to value them even if they let me down, but just to keep them at arm's length.  

There are some people in life you let inside your heart.  There are others who are in your life, but never inside your heart.  I have a bad habit of believing if a person is worthy of being in my life, I should open my heart to them.  I do this in very quiet ways, and maybe most of them don't even know I do it.  And I get hurt.  I need to create spheres of love that I am willing and not willing to let people into, and make sure I keep control of my own heart.  After all, it is up to me who I let in, right?

Taking care of your face!

I know there are ladies out there who feel drugstore brands' skin care and cosmetics items are just as good as nicer brands and cost less.  I disagree.  I USED to think that, but then I discovered Sephora and got a new job at the same time, so I decided to try some pricier products to see if they're worth it.

For me, they really are.  As far as skincare goes, I use a slightly cheaper exfoliator, yes.  But everything else - moisturizer, spot correcter, etc., needs to be better.  I have genetic dark circles (under my eyes) and have never found a drugstore eye cream that really helps.  A GOOD eye cream costs around $60, but lasts for 6 months, so that's a perfectly reasonable price, if not a good price.  I recently received a whole bag of free skincare samples from Sephora - and the sample sizes last me a few weeks, so that's a great deal!  

And for makeup, my skin tone and overall quality has been so much better since I switched to better cosmetic brands.  I am not all that loyal to any one brand - for foundations and powders, I love Prescriptives (but they're not in business now), Bare Minerals, Lancome, and MakeUp Forever.  For colors, I love just about every brand, but Nars has some beautiful eye and cheek shades.  Mascara and eyeliners, I am still investigating to decide on my favorite.  

Some good finds lately:

Lancome Fresh Wear - this foundation goes on sheer, but lasts all day, and isn't shiny.  Love it.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P262000

Dr. Brandt Collagen Booster - I'm not really wrinkly, but I received this free sample (that I've used morning and evening for 2 and a half weeks, at least!) and it's improving my skin tone and texture overall - I need less makeup with it, and that's a good product.
http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P251922

I hope all the ladies out there are also keen on taking care of your pretty faces. :)

Adjusting.

I am currently trying to adjust to school and doing pretty well, I think.  There are moments I feel proud of myself for getting ahead and completing assignments early to reduce my stress levels.  There are other moments I look at my calendar and feel overwhelmed, asking myself "when will I have time to complete these assignments?"

But, in general, I find that most assignments take me less time to complete than I thought they would, I just have to sit down and concentrate.  

The biggest time-sucker so far is all of the reading - several chapters of books per week, plus a list (usually 5 to 6) of scholarly articles.  Many of these articles reinforce or repeat each other, and some people are very good at just scanning them, but I like to read them all and be really, fully prepared and "in the know" if at all possible.  Thus, the trying to get ahead.  I love reading, and some of the articles and textbook chapters are interesting, but others are really dry, totally mumbley-jumbley mixes of technical words that I struggle to absorb.  Those parts I scan. :)

I see now why people claim getting a Master's degree requires much more self-discipline than an undergraduate degree.  My classes are relatively long (two classes per week, 3 hours each), but MOST of the work and reading happens outside that time.  And you really have to make yourself do it.  My lunch hour has typically been my wonderful read-a-book break time.  Now, it's evolving into school-reading time.  

Honestly, my biggest complaint with school so far is my physical discomfort - I love working at my dining room table, because it's big with lots of space for laptop, books, and paper.  But the chairs are not comfortable for a full three hours.  So I am considering moving to my reading chair, or the couch - but both of these locations may be TOO comfy.  Decisions, decisions.

I am off for my lunch hour now - to read about retrieval tools.  I know you're jealous.