Navigating the Daily Deal World...

I love daily deals.  I do.  I have given myself a proverbial pat on the back (or maybe a real one) many times for scoring great deals on everything from manicures to pottery painting, 5-star meals to cupcakes.  

But the daily deal scene has become overwhelming and slightly risky lately as retailers/service providers have found ways to be sneaky...so here are some tips for getting good deals while being smart about it.  

1. Always check the company's reviews on Yelp or other similar websites.  If they're too new to be reviewed or aren't listed at all, be careful. You will often see reviews from folks who bought daily deals and had good or bad experiences, and these are good to know ahead of time.  There are always companies that offer these deals, but then try to cheat the system by skimping on service.  Luckily, folks will review them, and you can benefit.  (On that note, if you buy a service, review the company to help others!)

2. Always check the company's website for the true pricing of a product.  If it's not listed online, call and ask for the normal pricing of a product (don't mention the daily deal).  Why?  I once almost bought a spa treatment for $25.  The value was listed at $100, and the fine print specified that I would need to pay tax and a 20% gratuity on the the entire $100 value.  However, when I checked their website, the exact same service was listed at $75.  Sneaky!  And I've seen this many times since that happened.

3. On that note, check the fine print for that "must also pay tax and gratuity on full value" line - and feel free to call and ask the company specifically if they are adhering to it.  I've seen some companies accept a voucher and never mention it (i.e. they very intelligently built the tax into their daily deal price), while others performed a service and suddenly asked me for the additional cash, while giving me no option to pay the gratuity or not, regardless of quality of service.

4. Call to check for open appointments before buying a deal!  I know several people (including myself) who have bought deals for services or events, only to call and be told they have no openings for six months because they sold so many special offers, or that they're only open on weekdays when you can't make it to their location, or that the "special deal class" is only one day per week or month.  To be fair, some websites will refund your money if that happens, but some won't, so be careful. 

5. Check expiration dates.  Some are in a year, some are in two months. 

6. Check restrictions - I once bought a "bracelet making class" voucher, only to realize I wasn't allowed to decide which bracelet I wanted to make, it was one specific design, and I wasn't crazy about it.

7. Expect the up-sell with some services.  I've seen this primarily with medical or spa services, in the form of trying to book a second appointment at the end of the "deal" appointment - the second one at full price, of course.  Just be ready to say no if you don't plan to go back. 

8. Check the location/map!  I see terrific deals on a daily basis, right before I check the map and realize they're an hour from me - no, thanks.  And check parking - it's no fun to get a great deal online, arrive, and have to pay a $10 parking fee unexpectedly.

9.  Don't impulse-buy.  It's tough when you see a terrific savings offer jump into your inbox.  But just remember - there will be 40 new deals coming at you tomorrow, and the next day, and the next.  Missing a few won't hurt.  The BEST plan of action is to ignore most deals unless they're something you've been considering doing or will spend money on regardless.  However, I often bookmark a deal and come back to it later in the day or the day after, to see how I feel after I've thought about it.  Most of the time, I realize I don't need it, but occasionally, I know it's something that will save me bucks, so I go for it.

10.  If you REALLY wanted/needed a deal and it sold out, call the company directly.  Tell them the deal sold out, but you know the deal sites always take a cut of the money anyway, and ask if the company would be willing to let you pay them the same amount directly for the same service.  If a business owner is smart, they'll say yes - they're making more, anyway, because Groupon/LivingSocial/HalfOffDepot/whoever isn't taking a cut.

Since I started being more careful about my deal spending, I've wasted a lot less money and had some terrific experiences!  There are still honorable business owners out there using these deals to gain visibility, get new customers in the door, and even (gasp) make money!  You have to do a little searching to find out who they are, but then you can sincerely enjoy the savings much more!

Tips for Job Searchers!

We are going through resumes at the moment, searching for a new administrative assistant.  We're looking for a 9 that we can turn into a 10, but mostly, we're getting 4's.  It's terrible.

So, while I am thinking of it, here are some tips for all the job hunters out there.  They seem self-explanatory to me, but I've seriously seen all of these mistakes 50 times today.

1. When applying for a position via a company's internal website...DO NOT type anything in all capital letters!  Nothing!  It looks unprofessional.  It does NOT make you stand out. (I CAN CAPITALIZE in a BLOG because it's NOT A JOB APPLICATION!)  :)


2. Check ALL grammar, spelling, contractions, tenses, etc.  I can't stress this enough.  It may seem unfair, but with hundreds of applicants for every position, the first grammatical/spelling mistake we see in someone's application usually gets it declined immediately.  If someone simply doesn't know they're making the mistakes, they're not very likely to get a job dealing with communications/correspondence, anyway - we skill-test, people.


3. Do research on the company before you apply, or else you really won't know what to write in your application.  It's VERY easy for a hiring manager to tell that someone is applying for every job they see, instead of this particularly fitting one.


4. Read the instructions carefully!  If a line item asks you to list two supervisors, their title, and their contact information, and you only list one, or list six, or don't include titles and contact information, you've just weeded your own resume out.


5. When asked about the motivation to apply for a particular job, be honest, but don't expect many calls back if your true motivation for applying is to "be employed" (i.e. get any possible job"), "make money", "move to (insert any new place)", "climb the corporate ladder", or "get my foot in the door."

6. If there's a place to paste your resume, do so, but CHECK THE FORMATTING, and fix it so the spacing and punctuation is all correct.  If you simply paste your resume and don't fix the formatting, that translates to lazy, to a hiring manager.


7. If there's another place to upload your resume, even if you also pasted it, definitely upload it.  The uploaded/formatted resume looks better.


8. If at all possible, tailor a cover letter for every position you apply for.  Attach it.  Attach letters of recommendation, or reference sheets.  Hiring managers like to see that you're prepared - but don't attach personal information, that borders on unprofessional.

9. Finally, have a public LinkedIn page with a photo that anyone can see!  In theory, we all want to think appearances don't matter, but in this economy, it simply isn't true.  With hundreds of applicants, a solid LinkedIn page with a great photo can show that you present well, and can make a huge difference in getting you an interview!

Gift-Giving

I recently started thinking about gift-giving, and how strange our "traditions" have become.  I may be romanticizing my childhood, but I seem to remember times when people didn't ask for gifts or expect gifts, but a family member or friend spotted something just right for them and gifted it anyway.  Gifts were about thought, and surprise, and the general expression that you think enough of someone to see something, be reminded of them, and buy it for them.  

Now, we send long lists of things we want.  We expect someone to give us a gift if we buy one for them.  We agonize over how much someone might spend on us, worried that we have to spend an equal amount on them.  We ask for cash, or gift cards.  We expect gifts in the first place.

Doesn't this seem odd?  It's like gift-giving has lost its beauty, its surprise, its thought.  Sure, it's tougher to find the right gift for someone when they haven't given you a list, but it's a great chance to ask yourself what you actually WANT to give to a person you care about, not what they have explicitly stated a desire for.  If you can't think of a single thing you'd like to give someone, why are you buying them a gift, anyway?  It's not a requirement, and shouldn't be expected.  

I am guilty of messing this up, and I hope to correct it...

Gifts should come from the heart.  That's my point.  Not a list, not expectations, not duty.  Just from the heart.  

My Thoughts on 9/11...

 "Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him." - Aldous Huxley

I admit, I was a bit unplugged from all of the media focus on 9/11 yesterday.  Part of me didn't want to think about it - not because I don't care, but because I don't always believe looking back is healthy.  At least, not in the way most people do it.  I saw Facebook statuses all over the place that were still full of hate - and that's part of why 9/11 happened in the first place.  Do we never learn?

What happened on September 11, 2001 was a tragedy in a manner so massive it's hard to contemplate.  I will never forget being woken up by my college roommate (who recently passed away) because there had been "a plane crash", and then seeing calls from my parents, checking in on me.  In my morning fuzz, I didn't realize "a plane crash" was a very big deal.  I stumbled into my (other) roommate's room and looked at the TV.  Within three minutes, the second plane came out of nowhere and hit the second tower, and we suddenly knew how bad things really were.

Being the wife of a firefighter/first responder now, my heart aches not only for the innocent people who simply went to work that day and never made it home, but for the rescue workers who dove into a building to save lives, and ended up losing their own.  If Wes had been a firefighter during those hard days, I wonder if he would have felt compelled to go to New York to assist in the search and rescue?

And yet, I can not feel hate.  I don't hate Muslims, or the citizens of Afghanistan or Pakistan.  I don't even want revenge.  I don't think revenge brings healing, not one tiny bit.  While feeling a healthy type of pride for your home country is not a bad thing, the hate, arrogance, and ignorance that Americans (and citizens of other countries, as well, though Americans seem to be notorious for it) can often show is likely what causes us to have such strained relationships with other countries.  We can not be good global citizens with such attitudes.  We want other countries to respect us, but we don't feel respect for them.  This simply isn't logical.  We have a horrific view of "propaganda" (the word itself calls to mind Hitler's media), and yet, we have no problem telling our children that America is the only country worth a damn.  How is this OK?  How is it healthy?

I would never condone or accept what the people behind 9/11 did to our country.  But I would also never condone or accept America doing the same to them.  It creates a spiraling pattern of hate and violence that will simply NEVER HELP ANYTHING.


So, yesterday, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I didn't want to cry, or concentrate on what we lost.  If that makes me cold and unfeeling, so be it.  I wanted to think about the future, and how we could be BETTER.  More educated, less ignorant, with a much better perspective on the world and its inhabitants.  After all, America makes up less than 5% of the world's population.  If we don't respect the other 95%, we are really setting ourselves up for disaster - economically, culturally, educationally, and in many other ways.


I hope the memory of what happened on September 11th makes us all look to the future with unveiled eyes - if  we don't, then those lives really were lost in vain.

Staying put for now...

After our trip to Jacksonville to check out the city and the details of the new position I was being considered for, we came home and let everything sink in to see how we really felt about it.

Luckily, we were both on the same page - we could rationalize any decision, concentrate on the money, the advancement, the proximity to the beach, etc.  But in the end, our GUTS both said no, we wouldn't be happy with the decision to move for this job.  That was really all the reassurance I needed.  The harder part was overcoming my fear of disappointing the people in my company who have believed in me and promoted me.  I hope I can be gracious enough that they understand I WANT to grow, but not if it costs my family (being me, Wes and the animals) our happiness.

At the same time, the entire process is making me consider all sorts of things.

Can I make money doing something I can feel proud of?

How important is community and WHERE we live in the equation of us feeling fulfilled and happy?

I realize that happiness isn't something that can be chased and caught, like some exotic bird.  There is no "two plus two equals four" to happiness. You are happy, or you are not.  But can one simply decide to be?  I don't think it's that simple. 

I learned a few years ago that love can be defined as our response to our highest values. If I apply that to life (instead of just to people), it stands to reason that if my life aligns with what I value the most, I will love it, right?

The thought process continues...

Simple...

In the middle of one of the most hectic times in my life, I often yearn for something simple.

...to not measure time.  To wake up with the sun, when it feels natural.  To sit on a front porch and watch.  Just watch.  Notice.  Think. 

Why does no one seem to value these simple acts any more? 

"Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." - Georgia O'Keefe

Money and happiness...

...are not the same thing at all.

"A Real Life" (book I am reading) is putting things into perspective a bit - I haven't really considered that despite our MUCH larger debts, larger houses, more cars, and more THINGS in general, we, as a society, are much less happy than we were 100 years ago.  We believe our quality of life has been much improved...while I am not suggesting we all live as we did a century ago, I admit we seem to be going the wrong way as a society.  Scary.  I see people around me who have chased money and career, and are very obviously unhappy - and I worry about making that mistake.

With all our connectivity, we are isolated, most of us are lonely.  Why? It seems so counter-intuitive, doesn't it?  Over the past century (or two, I have no real measure), we have become less and less focused on relationships.  This is evidenced by the way we spend our time (staring at TVs, video games, and even my weakness - books) and our money (on more stuff!) - these things don't promote our relationships - REAL ones - at all.  By real ones, I mean relationships in which we share dreams, fears, concerns, and joys - open and vulnerable relationships that don't need entertainment to thrive, they only need each other.  How many of those do we even have?

I am preaching to myself - I spend whole nights with my own husband simply watching TV, and then wonder why we don't feel close.  Being in the same room doesn't make us connected at all - in fact, that much time close to someone that involves no true sharing and focused attention on each other could actually drive us apart over time.  Something we need to work on...

More to come as I think about this.

Checking out Jacksonville...

My first day of Jacksonville exploration:

A. Land at airport.
B. Head to hotel at Atlantic/Neptune Beach, first thing I see is factory smokestacks - yuck.
C. Second thing I see is a lot of old and some new over-commercialized big-box retail - yuck again.  That may seem odd since I work in the industry, but it's not my cup of tea when choosing possible places to live.
D. Check into hotel - very nice and plush, lovely services included, right on the beach.
E. Drive to Riverside and Avondale to check out the areas - more walkable, bungalow houses, sidewalks - I actually liked it.  Had lunch at The Cozy Tea, a proper sweet tea house.  Also discovered some great boutiques and a small/independent movie theater!  Very nice.
F. Drove to San Marco to check out that area - similar to Riverside, but a tiny bit less walkable, but some cute houses.
G. Headed back to my hotel, feeling a bit better about finding a possible nice place to live that's close to the JAX office - IF the job is a fit.
H. Watch Lord of the Rings in hotel for a bit, cry.
I. Walk on the beach.
J. Have a margarita and some shrimp at a beach bar, on the upstairs patio.  Read a book.
K. Random girls invite me to hang out with them since I am alone - I was about to leave, so we didn't hang out, but it was very friendly of them.
L. Come to hotel, wash the day off, get into PJ's - ahhhh.
M. Discover Harry Potter movies on TV - evening complete, with the Milano cookies that the docent put in the room because I love them!

Not a bad day.  Tomorrow, Wes and I are off to explore some more...

The right place?

I am having a slightly tough week.  Or maybe really tough.  My brain is totally weighed down.  I feel stressed, but the type of stressed where I want to sleep, zone out, be a hermit.  I hope that doesn't sound like being depressed. I hope I'm not depressed.  That would be depressing.

There's no one singular reason for my general lack of well-being right now - it's probably a mix of lots of things.  Men are like waffles (they can compartmentalize into small boxes, nothing affecting anything else), women are like spaghetti (everything is tied together in one large hunk of issues)...

But I think the root of my problem is that I don't feel like I am in the right PLACE.  I've known for years that Atlanta isn't the most fitting city for me/us, but I've always been willing to accept and make the best of our time here for now.  

Then, I was recently offered the opportunity for promotion/advancement within my company.  The promotion involves a 2012 move to Jacksonville, Florida.  I have been considering the position and the logistics of moving for a couple of weeks now...and the more I think about it, the less I want to go.  I have zero desire to be in Jacksonville.  I enjoy the occasional day on the beach, but I am learning I am really not a beach person, or even a pool person - not on an everyday basis, anyway.  I like cities.  I like villages.  I like greenery and gardens and parks set in the middle of walkable areas.  I like history, and life happening around me, but having a haven in the middle of all that life.

I am having a hard time reconciling my desire to make more money with my desire to NOT live in Jacksonville (for a variety of reasons - commute, the city itself, the office environment there, etc.).  By complete chance, I just won and received a book from GoodReads - a book called "A Real Life" - a book about the fact that our lives have become centered on money and things instead of real happiness - peace, rest, intellectual stimulation, friends, etc.  It couldn't have come at a more fitting time - the one time I am heavily debating lifestyle preferences vs. money and career advancement.

So, we (myself and Wes) are traveling to Jacksonville this weekend to check out the area and discuss the position with the Jacksonville team.  But my gut tells me it's just not right.

However - my general feelings of discontent right now go deeper than this job question.  My gut tells me we're not in the right place at all.  I don't know where the right place is.  I am only truly drawn to (A) Europe or (B) colonial cities in the US.  I am not sure my husband is drawn to either, while my heart is literally crying out to go.  I dream about being elsewhere. I consider totally beginning again in a new place with a bookstore job, or a receptionist position, or something equally small.  Simply being in the right environment seems like utter bliss to me.  My heart says that if I could get to the truly right place for us, I could be so content outside of money or career, and inside the things that really matter - the quiet moments, the friendships we develop, the time spent just enjoying the world with my husband.

At the same time, my brain tells me there's a lot to consider about moving to a new city or a new country.  

Heart or head?  Heart or head?  My feelings have evolved from feeling like we'd simply FIT better in another place, to really feeling like we're not in the right place now.  I am just struggling with how to address the issue. 

Amelia Island. I recommend it.

At the end of June, following our amazing night at the NKOTBSB concert, Ann, Lindsey, and myself piled into the car with our luggage and some snacks and headed to Amelia Island for a few days of R&R.  I had never been to Amelia Island/Fernandina Beach, so I had no idea what to expect, but I had read the town wins awards for being the best small beach town to live in, etc.

We were surprised to NOT take the interstate for much of the drive - a lot of it was on highways through smaller Georgia towns.  That wasn't so bad, it did break things up a bit.

The island itself is small, but very cute.  The beach is long, and there are almost NO hotels/condos on the beach - it's all houses/beach cottages, which gives it a homey feel, more relaxed and less touristy.  The beach is clean, with soft sand, some shells and no seaweed (at least while we we there).  Beach parking is free everywhere - HUGE plus!

The historic Fernandina Beach area is too cute - walkable, with nice shops and restaurants. There's a state park on the island, a lighthouse, and loads of outdoor space for kids to play.  


It was an incredibly relaxed trip - so relaxed, in fact, that for two nights we were in the hotel by 9:30 PM, curled up with books and watching movies.  On some trips, that would seem like a waste - but it seemed natural, comfortable, and relaxing.  I hardly ever get to totally switch off at home, so being in bed with a book, snack, and movie was very nice.  We also caught a movie in the theater on a rainy day, drove/explored randomly, ate some yummy seafood meals, and walked around historic Old Fernandina Beach.  We found a beach side bar that had live music, great atmosphere, and a lovely view of the dunes. 

Because there are so many places I want to visit/see, it's rare I will vacation somewhere twice, but I would definitely go back to Amelia Island, no question.  Next time - totally taking the dog.

 

Boy Band Concerts.

I have been to a lot of concerts.  All sorts of concerts.  Tiny (15 people) to huge (25,000 people), Rock, country, alternative, pop, bluegrass, etc.  Indoors, outdoors.  Lots.  

I typically enjoy concerts.  But the most fun I have (admittedly) ever had at a concert has to be the New Kids on the Block.  I discovered this halfway by accident.  I liked the New Kids when I was young, but being born in 1983, I wasn't even 10 when they were huge, so I was at the end of their fan curve.  Then I listened to their cassette tape a lot for several years. So a couple of years ago, when they came out with two new songs I liked (Summertime and Single) and decided to tour, Wes and Ann got me tickets to their Gwinnett Arena show - halfway serious, halfway joking, I think.

But THEN we went - and it was the most fun concert I had ever been to.  The fans were tremendous, never sitting down, dancing and singing the entire time, and really participating in the whole show.  And the guys in the band totally fed off that.  Fast forward to the second time I see them - with Wes, in Nashville.  Awesome again.  Third time - outdoor show at Lakewood, in the rain - awesome again.  When they finally announced their return to Atlanta with the Backstreet Boys, there was no question I'd go see them.  

And this last concert cemented my belief that while boy band songs can sound mega-cheesy on the radio or stereo, they are perfectly suited to fantastically fun concerts.  No question.

So while I won't be attending a boy band show to hear stunning instrumentals, I will be attending to dance, sing, and have a terrific time.  Now, if NKOTB and BSB would only tour with NSync...

Babies = not for me

I try pretty often to envision myself as a parent, and I just can't do it.  The whole enterprise seems horrifying.  Being pregnant, giving birth, and then making the life changes to raise a child - it all seems like a scary movie.  

I know the pluses - the love you feel for a child, how rewarding it is to be a parent, etc.  Friends who are parents tell me all the time that all the bad is just so outweighed by the good.  But I feel terrible for them when I see them being limited, not being able to go out, stay out, live their normal lives because there's a miniature human being at home demanding their attention.  Ugh.  I respect them so much for being giving, nurturing individuals.  I don't see myself as un-giving or un-nurturing (I know those aren't words), but I also really don't see myself as a parent.  Wes wants children (one day, in the far future) IN THEORY, but in practice, I don't know if we'll reach a point of being willing to do what it takes - I don't know that it will ever truly appeal to us.  In the meantime, we have other people's kids to love, and that's perfectly OK with me.

On a last note, here are a few of the things about pregnancy that make me want to adopt if we ever do decide to be parents: http://www.cracked.com/article_19298_7-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-you-about-pregnancy.html

Expectations.

Confession: I struggle with high expectations.  

On the one hand, I really WANT to have high expectations of people in my life.  I know I can give a great deal to someone I care about, and I think that if I value myself, I will retain my high expectations of those in my life.

On the other hand, high expectations have been the source of a great deal of pain and disappointment for me.  In fairly recent times, I have been severely disappointed in people I expected to be terrific friends, and they turned out to be completely un-caring jerks.  Was the situation their fault for being terrible friends, or my fault for ever expecting them to be good ones?  

There are two people in my life who I know deserve and can achieve wonderful futures for themselves, but they both insist on lowering themselves for crappy partners and crappy cities.  Does the situation hurt me because they are making bad decisions, or because I expect them to make good ones?

I've always had a problem with birthdays - I would put monster effort into making someone feel special, so I expected them to do the same for me, so - you guessed it - I ended up having a lot of really bad birthdays.  And this year, I expected nothing.  So the simple acts of girlfriends paying for my dinner, Wes cooking for me, family making me lunch and cupcakes, and friends going out with me or sending me a sweet gift really felt nice - warm fuzzies.  


In the end, sometimes people do suck at being friends.  They can be self-centered and careless.  They can make bad decisions and make you want to throw up your hands and walk away.  But I can't control other people.  I can't always control how people make me feel.  But I can work on controlling my expectations.  It's sort of chicken-and-egg-ish, really.  Instead of expecting something great from people and being hurt when it doesn't come, maybe I should just live my life, and when someone naturally exceeds expectations as a friend, then I can be sure I appreciate that person fully.  


Yes, it's scary - even the thought of letting go of my expectations makes me feel a little panicked.  "What if people never meet them?  What if I am totally unhappy because people never step up?  What if my life and hopes for good relationships totally go to crap?"  


Here's hoping I can conquer this fear, be able to appreciate the people who show they deserve to be appreciated, and be able to just disengage my emotions from people who only seem to let me down.  I am hoping for a future in which I am happy without expecting much from others, so when they do give, I am genuinely happy and impressed by it. 

28

I turn 28 years old in five days.  Each birthday I have seems to make me more reflective on my years as they keep flying by.  My birthday this year is a calm sort of milestone, coming into a new age and new year of my life in a fairly graceful way, it seems.  

So, to reflect on my year...between 27 and 28...


*I didn't travel as much as I've love to (the amount I'd love to travel is not very doable), but I took some great trips.  I spent a few days with the girls in my family (and Ann) in New York, which was very enjoyable.  I did an overnight trip to Callaway Gardens with my parents and Wes for the hot air balloon festival - I like going there because it's so calming.  Wes and I visited New Orleans for our first anniversary and had a great time.  I took my first trip to California with Kate, and saw some of San Francisco and Sacramento - definitely need to see more of the West Coast.  And we (me and Wes) took our first all-inclusive trip to Mexico, which was magical, sunny, delicious, and adventuresome all at the same time.  Loved it. 


*Wes started his new job with Cobb Fire.  It was a long training process, but he did a great job and I think the position really suits him.  It was a change schedule-wise, but now I really quite like it.  


*We moved into our first place living totally alone - just the two of us.  We didn't mind a roommate at all, but it was a change to have a place for just the two of us.  We made sure we have two bathrooms (the one room we don't share!) and space for the animals...when we moved, it was only Callie, our senior calico cat, who we love.  And then...

*We added a new member to our family, our crazy Cocker Spaniel, Macy.  She was a complete accident, and cute-wiggled her way right into our hearts (and then our home) in about five minutes of pet-store cuddling with Wes.  Maybe it was fate, but we adore her.  She has brought a whole new level of responsibility to our lives (a sign we're not ready for children, for sure), but has also brought enormous amounts of laughter, warmth, and plain fun.


*I learned a bit about soccer from watching the World Cup, and I think it's pretty cool how intense the fans are.


*I learned a lot about friendships.  This time last year, I considered several people good friends who I now can't stand to even talk to - what was I thinking?  I was chasing people around, trying to be a good friend to them, while they could only hurt me, and didn't mind hurting me if it make their lives easier.  Looking back, I was giving, but receiving nothing from the relationships.  It may sound crass, but I honestly don't miss them.  I (needlessly) put myself through such pain while it was happening - note to self: be aware of what people bring to your life, and appreciate those who bring good.  Don't worry over the rest, they are just noise in life, but not substance.  I forget how the quote goes - but it basically says that when people show you who they really are, believe them.  I need to remember that.  And, all in all, I know that solid, lasting friendships take longer to develop than I really want to give them, but there are some great people in my life who I might one day call life-long friends.  We shall see.


*I learned to take better care of my body.  I love to indulge in all sorts of things, but I realized this year that I need to limit myself, and my body thanks me for it.  I have never been a fan of working out, but once I got into an exercise rhythm, my body grew to love it.  I am not perfect in my routines, but I am caring for my body more, and that's important.

*In keeping with taking better care of my body, I made the decision to suck it up, spend the money, and get dental work done that I had been putting off.  It was expensive and a hard day, but I had a few fillings replaced with permanent porcelain, and my mouth is much more lovely now.  This is part of a longer process, to also get wisdom teeth out and get my second round of braces.  I want to smile a lot in my life, and I want to eat a lot of great foods, so I better take care of my pearly whites, right?


*I decided I love champagne.

*I applied to, was accepted to, and started graduate school.  I began on a path to a Masters of Library and Information Science, and after one semester realized it wasn't the right program for me.  Live and learn.  I changed to a Masters of Business Administration, focus in Human Resources Management, and think I am on a much better track!  

*I made extra efforts to keep us financially stable.  We already do well with it, but I put more thought into our investments and retirement accounts.  We bought a new car (for Wes), and have almost paid it off - thank goodness, because now we need a new car for me, as well.  

*I tried to address my allergies with a visit and tests with an allergist, but just learned I have some allergies, but mostly non-allergic rhinitis, so I can't do anything but pop a pill for symptoms.  Oh, well.  It could be worse.

*I became generally LESS interested in politics, and burnt out on the party-centered arguing and the inability of our leaders to set aside principals and just make decisions to put our country in the best possible position.  It frustrates me to the point of having to almost ignore it entirely, and just do the best I can in my own life.

*I took on new responsibilities at work, and have slowly become a more integral part of our team.  I also recently accepted the position of being the Lead Office Coordinator for the country, so that's adding a level of leadership to my plate.  I struggle with feeling bored or stagnant and really need to keep growing.

*I read a lot of books.  I saw a lot of movies.  I tried lots of new restaurants and foods.  I loved doing all of it, and suspect almost every year of my life will involve both of those things.


Looking ahead to the upcoming year, I feel a sense of calm.  Sure, there are stressful things in life, and I have some things to put thought into.  But I generally have a sense of peace.  And, as my favorite Christmas card ever simply said - "Peace is always beautiful."

Here's to what is hopefully a year of peace and beauty, in all of its forms.

Artist.

I love this quote - I often don't feel creative enough, but I need to remember that my works of art may not be conventional...

"I do believe it is possible to create, even without ever writing a word or painting a picture, by simply molding one's inner life. And that too is a deed." -Etty Hillesum

Romance.

I've had romance on my mind lately.  Maybe it's the lovely weather (ah, spring).  I've always loved romance.  It was easy to love in my dating years, because when people are dating (or "courting", you could say), they're always trying to be romantic to win someone over. 

But after being married for a couple of years (amazing that it's been this long!), romance changes forms, and it requires a lot more effort.  When you're dating, it involves effort to do anything together.  But once you're married and living together with a routine, the small things that would have been considered effort are simply just...normal.  

It's strange to sit back one day and realize that there's nothing WRONG with your marriage - nothing is going badly, no one is being mean.  But things are just plain-Jane, run of the mill, day to day normal.  You realize that neither husband nor wife has done anything wrong, but the spark has fizzled, and you've probably both let it happen.  When you were dating, there was constant reassurance of someone's feelings for you, constant effort to be caring and thoughtful.  You knew the person courting you was on your side.  But things slowly change, and it's easy to see your spouse as your opponent.  You find yourself subconsciously not being as loving, thoughtful, or supportive as you could be, simply because your partner isn't doing the same for you.  And then you're in a vicious cycle, of just not being wonderful to your partner because they aren't being wonderful to you - and it doesn't seem to get better.  There's no fight, no argument, no confrontations - just quiet.

I think it happens to every couple.  I see newly married and engaged couples, and they are always laughing, showing love, touching each other physically - you can tell they are still in a phase of wanting to show their feelings.  And then those of us who have been married for a while slip into thinking our partners should just know we love them without having to make effort to show it.


Thus, romance evades us.


Luckily, my husband and I saw this little issue creeping up and talked it out, and are making sure we break the cycle of marriage blahs.  We will be just fine.


No matter how long you've been married, I think everyone needs some romance, some special care.  Doing the dishes is helping, but it's not extra special care.  I have two general thoughts on what it takes to make something romantic:

1. It has to be out of the ordinary.  For example, we do dinner and a movie all the time, so if Wes planned that, it wouldn't be romantic.  He does dishes all the time, so that's not romantic.  I do laundry every week, so that's not romantic.  But for other couples with different routines, some of those things might be very special! 

2. It needs to require thought and purpose.  Anyone can buy flowers, that's not super special - unless they think about it and purposefully buy flowers their partner really enjoys.  Anyone can schedule a dinner date, so schedule something with an actual reason behind it (i.e. Mexican to remember your awesome trip to Mexico, maybe?) - as long as there's actual thought, effort, and loving reasoning behind something, it will feel special and not like someone just doing their marriage duty.



I know these thoughts are rambling, but it's just on my brain lately.  As much as people tend to write off romance as being cheesy, I think most relationships (in a sense, even friendships) could really use more of it.

Class.

As many of you know, Caleb Kibble was in a pretty bad motorcycle accident yesterday and is in the hospital having surgeries - this blog is not about his accident, but about something it has made me see and feel.

As most of my graduating class is aware, I am involved with planning our 10-year reunion, which is happening this July.  I have kept in touch with lots of classmates and am always impressed that our graduating class has produced the people I know and see around me (figuratively speaking).  There are plenty of people who wouldn't miss a reunion, because they know it's their only chance in 10 years to see people they grew up with, and that's a valuable thing.

Then there are others who keep debating - they can't decide if they should attend a reunion for a list of reasons - they aren't sure they will have anything in common with people (you already do, you graduated together), they are afraid they haven't accomplished much (don't be silly), or they simply don't feel close to many high school friends any more.

But you know, the minute something bad happens to one of our classmates, the outpouring of concern and love is really amazing.  I am not always the most vocal with my concern for others, simply because I know they are probably inundated with calls, e-mails, texts, chats, and generally more communication than they can deal with.  So I sit back and watch our classmates who may say they're not sure they feel close to people from high school express real concern for someone they are tied to by the simple fact that we spent several formative years of our lives together.  There have been times things have happened to me or others I know, and the expression of caring and concern from people we barely knew in high school was really comforting and sweet.  It's a beautiful thing.

I think my class has class, know what I am saying?

So even though you may not keep in touch with many high school friends, or you may not be sure you have things in common with many of them, or even if you just feel strange attending a reunion because it's been ten years, remember that if something should happen to you, there's a large group of people who WILL care about what's happening to you, simply because we come from the same place.  We may not all be texting each other and hanging out during the holidays, and you may not even realize you care about a classmate.  But let tragedy come to their family, and you realize you definitely care.  

That's a great thing, and worth my once-every-ten-years effort to see you all.  I hope you feel the same.  Yes, I am helping plan the event, and yes, I want people to come in general.  But Caleb's accident and the response to it has reminded me of why it really is worth it to both plan and attend this event in our hometown.


On a side note (and another example of why our class has class), when we polled everyone regarding the reunion and asked how we should spend extra ticket funds raised, a huge majority voted to give the extra funds to a non-profit or group in need in our hometown, instead of to buy extra food for the reunion.  Good choice, ladies and gents.  When Caleb pulls through this (and he will!), I am hoping to speak to him and Sarah and possibly get their help choosing a group to receive any extra funds.  Or we may take classmate suggestions on who/what to donate to, and let everyone vote, yes?


Do any of you know of classmates or classmates' children who have passed away since we graduated?  I know Alesa's baby (Miller), but that is all.  If you can think of other folks who would have been with us at a 10-year reunion but will not be, I'd love to know about them so we can honor them.

Not cool.

Know what is very uncool?  Friends who are really (super) needy when they are single, but as soon as they are dating someone, are always too busy for you, because they've planned their lives months in advance with the guy (because they simply transferred their neediness and insecurity to him).  Crappy.  The end.

Compassion

I think this is one of my biggest flaws - that I am not always compassionate enough.  I don't feel all that moved to help when bad things happen to people (sometimes, there are exceptions to this), I don't cry hearing someone's sad family story, I don't feel strange if I don't volunteer every few weeks, I sometimes make it really obvious (not intentionally) if I don't like someone.  I often wish I were more compassionate.  

And yet, I am sometimes amazed at how much LESS compassionate than me others can be.  It pains me to hear people say that they don't feel they should give of their time and resources to others because those people got themselves into trouble, so too bad.  Yes, it's true.  And I am all about justice.  But when those people's bad actions harm others - children, for example - I can't stand by and do nothing.  I can't change anyone, but I can help in small ways, and I want to.  The whole "survival of the fittest" attitude about it really hurts my heart, because it's almost never as simple as it sounds. 


I also see people quite often who feel it is beneath them to volunteer.  They want to spend their time and money on themselves, period.  Maybe on someone they like personally.  I get that.  I am selfish, in some ways - I love the treats in my life, and my personal time.  But the thought that I shouldn't have to give of my time to strangers at all - it seems too extremely selfish.


It's a balancing act, this matter of giving of time and money.  I am far from perfecting it, and often just fall off the tightrope and stare at it, honestly.  But I want to try, and what's more, I want to surround myself with people who feel the same way, and in my world of mostly successful young professionals, it's proving hard to find.  Big downer.

Bad attitudes...

...are something I just can not tolerate, and I seem surrounded by them, sometimes.  

Example: today at work, our Senior VP asked me to look over some quarterly numbers and discuss with the group how we're looking compared to other offices in our company.  Each office really functions as its own entity, but we're all one company, so it's important to be educated, right?  

Apparently, for some of my office mates, it's not important, or not even worth their time to listen to.  Some were rude, not listening and chatting with people around them (they do this all the time and it's arrogant).  Others preferred to say those numbers (the not so great ones) just couldn't be right, and they really can't be concerned with them.  Really?  Your attitude sucks.

I see this in my everyday life as well - people whose attitudes are just bad overall.  They always expect the worst of people, or they consider their own time more valuable than anyone else's, or they are just always in a bad mood, which brings everyone around them down.  I am nowhere near perfect, but I CAN say I try to intentionally keep a good balance in life - being informed and educated, but maintaining a positive attitude as well.  

And in the end, as much as a negative attitude irritates me (and it does), I know it will be more harmful to the person who has it, right?

Boats.

Most people don't know that boats (small ones on lakes, not cruise ships) scare me a little.  When I was in high school, a friend of mine was killed in a boating accident on Carter's Lake in north Georgia, and boats have freaked me out ever since.

Thanks to HalfOffDepot, I decided to take a chance on a 12-passenger pontoon on Lake Lanier with some friends.  It was a great deal, what can I say?  I was a bit nervous because I didn't grow up with boats and have little knowledge of them - but luckily, my hubby has lived his life going out on the lake, so he felt no fear!  


We headed out with four friends - it took me a few minutes to quiet the butterflies in my tummy, but then it became quite nice on the lake - calming, breezy, sunshiney.  I don't like when the boat goes too fast, and you couldn't pay me to get behind a boat on a tube or skis, but I am making progress, and I feel a (tiny) sense of accomplishment in this area.

Failure.

I often wonder why we're so afraid of failure.  One of my favorite parts of "The Geography of Bliss" (terrific book!) was the chapter about Iceland, and how one of the things that creates happiness among the residents there is that they have no real fear of failure.  Everyone is encouraged to try anything and everything, and there is no negative emotion connected to not succeeding at something.  People are encouraged to try more than one job, school, hobby, and if they don't love it, it's still considered positive that they tried it.  They support artists and don't believe in the notion of "starving artists", because they are attempting something good.  I love that.

When I am old(er) and look back on my life, I don't find much value in saying "I succeeded" at a few things.  I'd rather look back and see that my life was full, because I tried so many things.  The trying and not being afraid to fail is the only way to discover things I might actually be good at, you know?

Mexico was muy bueno.

We had a terrific time in Mexico!  Our trip in a nutshell:

Arrived in Cancun and were greeted by super nice people in the airport who helped us get a good taxi to our resort.

At the resort entrance, we were given cold towels and champagne to refresh us (it worked). At check in, everything was already in the system, so we were sent straight to our room, where a bellboy showed us everything and had our bags delivered.

The room was fantastic - all marble and granite, with a huge comfy bed, couch and TV, huge terrace outside, big gorgeous bathroom with stone shower and large jet bathtub for two, stocked fridge, safe and closets with drawers, etc.  As Wes said, you couldn't help but be relaxed in that suite.


After checking out the room, we headed to Le Marche restaurant to have lunch - a gorgeous restaurant with outdoor patios and a big thatch roof that went up a few stories.  Natural light, etc.  The lunch buffet was marvelous, with just about anything you could ask for, and any drinks you wanted included, of course.


We explored the resort and went to book our outings (snorkeling, Mayan ruins, and fishing for Wes).  We were amazed at the efficiency and organization of the resort - everything was already paid, in the system, and ready to print for us.  


We made our way to the (huge) salt-water pool, complete with every sort of cabana, swim-up bars, chefs outside making paella, chairs in the water for cooler sunbathing, etc, etc.  I could go on.  We got some sun and had a couple of drinks before going in to shower for dinner.


That night, there as a large outdoor Mexican fiesta, with lots of authentic Mexican food (think various stations of chefs making all sorts of fresh dishes), folk dancers, mariachi band, etc.  We talked to a nice couple from Canada and enjoyed the food and music before heading to bed fairly early - we had to be up at 6:00 AM the next day!


After getting up so early, we caught a bus (the nicest bus I have ever been on) with guides Hugo and Paco to pick up folks from some other resorts and head to Tulum, an ancient Mayan port city that was at its height between the 1200's and 1400's - VERY OLD.  It was pretty interesting to tread the same earth as such ancient folks, and the beaches at Tulum were fantastic.  Lots of people, but still gorgeous.  Wes took his first dip in the Gulf waters there.


After Tulum, we were off to Xel-Ha (pronounced more like "shell-ha"), which is a huge natural aquarium - an inlet where the sea converges with natural fresh-water rivers, and the snorkeling is fantastic.  We had lunch (also all-inclusive) and started snorkeling, and didn't want to stop - it was so cool - my first time, really.  I was following tropical fish all over the place.  It's a strange feeling to see a huge stingray right by you underneath the water.  


We had to stop snorkeling to do the Sea Trek, where we put on pressurized breathing helmets (you breathe normally) and went down a ladder to the ocean floor, where we walked on the bed of the inlet with fish and stingrays - awesome experience.  The divers brought the stingrays right up to us so we could touch them, and they were giving Wes little nudges on his legs.  How many people can say they've walked on the ocean floor? :)


We were exhausted after all the walking and swimming, but had a lovely dinner at the seafood restaurant on the beach at the resort, and then we headed to one of the courtyards to listen to the band that plays there each night (cover band).  Folks were drinking and dancing - fun atmosphere.


The next day, Wes had an early fishing charter scheduled.  He got up and headed down to catch his ride...and came back an hour later, as no one had showed up to get him.  The trip was canceled due to rough seas, apparently another vessel had capsized, so trips were canceled for two days.  BUMMER.  Wes was totally sad all morning, but we had breakfast and spent the morning on the beach under a shady thatch umbrella - super relaxing.  The beach waitress kept the drinks coming, I read my book, and Wes ignored the red "danger" flags and went swimming in the ocean, which exhausted him because it was so rough out.  After a lunch at the beach-front restaurant (again, the terrace was so nice and breezy), I made a spa appointment and Wes had a nap.  My massage was fabulous and relaxing.  After showers (bath for me), we headed to the Japanese restaurant for a sushi/hibachi dinner, chatted with other couples there, and then looked in on the evening's theater entertainment (there was a show every night), which was a Michael Jackson show - pretty cool.  


This doesn't cover everything, but does cover some of the highlights of our trip.  We were amazed by how clean, beautiful, and well-run everything was.  Everywhere we went, things were organized and efficient, and the Mexican people were fantastically nice.  The resort was run so well that it seemed miles ahead of any American resorts we've visited, and even the other companies we came into contact with (tour folks, Tulum, Xel-Ha) had everything crazily under control and running beautifully.  The weather was lovely and sunny (minus the bad water that took away Wes's fishing).


We'd definitely go back to Mexico - and for people who love to see new places, that's saying something!

Progress!

At almost 4 months into my "101 Goals in 1,001 Days", I am feeling pretty good about my progress...

Start Date: Friday, January 7, 2011.
Conclusion Date: Friday, October 4, 2013.

143 weeks

35 months

2 ¾ years

1. Travel to Africa (slated for February 2012)
2. Travel to Europe
3. Travel to Australia
4. Visit New York City again (with Wes, this time)
5. Visit California once - DONE!
6. Snorkel decently - DONE!  Snorkeled like crazy in Mexico and loved it!
7. Try 35 new Atlanta restaurants (25/35 - tried Local Three, Peter Chang's, Thumbs Up Diner, Corner Bakery Cafe, Full Cup, Holy Taco, Canton Cooks, Garrison's, Caffe Fortunato, Old Vinings Inn, Babs Midtown, La Pietra Cucina, Park's Edge, Spoon, Ceviche, Kevin Rathbun Steak, Fritti, Blue Grotto, La Tavola Trattatoria, Parish, Sublime Doughnuts, House of Lu II, Nuevo Laredo, Wisteria, Serpas)
8. Attend 5 concerts (1/5 - New Kids on the Block in June!  Considering seeing Keith Urban and Rascal Flatts.  Would love to see Adele or Florence and the Machine, or even Lady Gaga, but they're all sold out.)
9. Attend 5 musicals/plays (2/5 - Oklahoma, A Chorus Line - some other great ones coming up! Want to see Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and Wicked!)
10. Visit 2 museums and actually look at things (0/2 - I feel like Atlanta's museum scene is sort of lame)
11. Get dental work done that I hate- DONE.  It was 6 hours in the chair, but I have a mouth of pearly whites that will last forever now - that's a good feeling.
12. Pay off 50% or more of student loans
13. Read 125 books (21/125 - 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, A Postcard from the Volcano, Winter's Bone, 1984, Mirage, Outliers, Blink, The Hobbit, Siddhartha, Ethan Frome, 54, 40 or Fight, Silk, Alas, Babylon, A Tale of Two Cities, A Fine Balance, We're Just Like You (Only Prettier), The Beautiful and Damned, As I Lay Dying, Brooklyn, The Paris Wife, Your Blue-Eyed Boy)
14. See 75 movies (30/75 - Blue Valentine, I Love You Phillip Morris, Winter's Bone, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I Am Love, 127 Hours, Somewhere, The Witches of Eastwick, The Ghost Writer, Jane Eyre, The Last Lions, The Adjustment Bureau, Animal Kingdom, Silk, Woman on Top, North & South, Meet Me in St. Louis, Countdown to Zero, Life as a House, Little Miss Marker, Now and Forever, Return to Cranford, Arthur, Stand Up and Cheer, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Never Let Me Go, Water for Elephants, Thor, Mother and Child, The Princess of Montpensier)
15. Buy a new car for me
16. Workout an average of at least 3 times per week (gym, sports, other physical activity - with the combination of my Curves membership and The Biggest Loser Challenge on Wii, this is going better than expected - and with CurveSmart, it's even more motivating! I have lost a little weight, but was aiming for toning and inches, and have lost some inches, very nice!)
17. Paint a picture I like enough to hang on the wall
18. Buy a bike
19. Improve at tennis (played once and am not all that bad, more work to come)
20. Find one beer-type drink I like (tried three at the Sweetwater Brewery tour and was not a fan of any - blech)
21. Begin my MBA courses, possibly finish them (done - started them!)
22. Take a wine tasting class - done!
23. Take a random road trip
24. Take an overnight trip alone
25. Take a weekend trip with a girlfriend - planned for June, beachin' it up on Amelia Island with Ann
26. Volunteer at least 5 times (0/5 - working on this, why are so many organizations impossible to work with?)
27. Write at least 5 snail mail letters (0/5)
28. Eat all breakfasts and lunch IN for one week (prepare them myself)
29. Play three video games with Wes (2/3 - played Wii Sports while snowed in, now we're doing The Biggest Loser Challenge together)
30. Take Macy to 10 different places for her to run/walk/play (3/10 - tried Piedmont Park - she wanted to walk with us and had little interest in the dogs...then we tried Lewis Park near Marietta Square, which was OK until someone brought in a pit and it attacked another dog, that was horrible. Did walking around the loop in the heart of Vinings, which is really nice.)
31. Give 5 “I saw this and thought of you” gifts. (2/5 - one for Amanda, I saw a wristlet at Express that just seemed like her, then I saw a candle for Kate that would add a nice touch to her new place in California)
32. Bake really good cookies from scratch
33. Go to the symphony
34. Go roller skating/blading
35. Go bowling
36. Hit golf balls with Wes - DONE.  We'll be doing this more - it makes me sore, but I'll get better...
37. Make at least three healthy snacks (3/3 - DONE - pumpkin spice muffins were delish, applesauce oatmeal muffins were OK, but a little too healthy-tasting, but Wes ate them all, and the cheesecake-ish dessert I tried was yummy, but I would change the canned strawberries to fresh.)
38. Acquire a new piece of gold jewelry - DONE!  Got a perfect dainty chain that I can add to or wear alone, love it.
39. Play trivia at least 5 times (1/5 - @ Harry's w/Wes, Laura, Matt)
40. Host/go to a game night
41. Buy Wes a real grill
42. Buy new bedroom furniture
43. Buy some Waxing Poetic Jewelry
44. Move into a home I love and want to stay in for a few years - we've decided to go another direction, so I am changing this to finding a rental we really like for the next couple of years!
45. Take some vitamins that are good for me - DONE, but will continue (taking Biotin for hair/nails/skin, Saint John's Wort for falling asleep naturally, and C/Zinc/Lysine for immune system)
46. Clean out clothing and get rid of what I don’t wear (made some progress on this!)
47. Buy a filing cabinet and organize all our documents
48. Play three new board games (0/3)
49. Learn three new card games (0/3)
50. Ski once
51. Buy a bathing suit I feel really sexy in (got one - working on the feeling sexy in it part now!)
52. Go to an amusement park
53. Complete a puzzle
54. Pay off Wes's car - half way there!
55. Go to the beach - Mexico in April, AND Amelia Island in June, yay!
56. Make three new friends I really appreciate
57. Go dancing at least 4 times (0/4)
58. Plant something
59. Buy a lottery ticket
60. Do a pin-up photo session - working on this!
61. Go on a picnic
62. Rent a cabin and relax there
63. Go to the opera
64. Take a ballroom dancing lesson
65. Get a massage (done! I'll get more!)
66. Keep up with my blog
67. Go horseback riding
68. Play in the rain
69. Watch a sunrise and a sunset
70. Take myself on a date
71. Send someone flowers
72. Do karaoke
73. Spend a night in a local hotel just because
74. Spend a day in downtown Atlanta
75. Check out 5 new ares of the city (4/5 - explored the Marietta Square, realized I really like it and want to spend more time there.  Also did walking tours of Midtown and then Inman Park, and learned a good bit about both. And we've explored Vinings lots, and really like it!)
76. Check out 5 boutique clothing stores (2/5 - Festivity in Buckhead, like it a lot. Checked out Sand Piper in Vinings - nice stuff, little too pricey for what you get.)
77. Scan high school photos
78. Learn more about my ancestors
79. Try 75 new recipes (10/75 - Hearty Lasagna Soup, Bobby Lee's Chicken Pasta, Southwest Beef Stew, Turkey Chili w/corn and black beans, simple shrimp/butter/garlic pasta, Skillet white bean pasta with tomatoes and spinach, turkey sloppy joes, creamy pasta primavera, slow cooker healthy potato soup, taco soup)
80. Write 10 random thank you cards and send them (0/10)
81. Try 10 new mixed drink concoctions (2/10 - tried a homemade margarita that was just OK, decided I love capirinhas!)
82. Take a meditation class
83. Attend a Falcons game
84. Visit a winery
85. Become CPR certified - DONE!
86. Take a Zumba class - DONE!
87. Go to a black tie/formal event
88. Go back to Disney World
89. Go to the Harry Potter Theme Park
90. Re-read the last Harry Potter book
91. Turn off cell phone for an entire weekend
92. Turn 30 and love it
93. Adopt a second dog
94. Give up French Fries for a month
95. Truly enjoy one of my birthdays
96. Anonymously help someone in need
97. Have a deep talk with someone
98. Take a yoga class
99. Allow myself to spend more than $300 on a fabulous pair of shoes or a bag - I would love a pair of Manolos, or a Marc Jacobs or Cole Haan bag...choices.
100. Splurge on a pair of True Religion jeans
101. Make another list when this one is done!

New.

It's Easter Sunday, and I am thinking about being made new.  Renewal.  Risings.  Changing.  Being alive.

Most of my acquaintances and friends know that I am not religious at all, so Easter isn't a major holiday for me.  I do love candy, but I don't exactly believe in all of the religious attachments to the holiday.  After all, the very name "Easter" actually refers to a month named after the goddess Eostre, a pagan goddess connected to spring, hares and eggs (not kidding).  Studying the history of Easter shows how early Christians adapted the observation of the month to their own faith, to remember and signify major events influencing their beliefs.  The history can not be proved and is debated a great deal, but that's not really important to me, personally.


What I do love about Easter is the feeling of renewal and rebirth.  I DO believe in the power of the human spirit and its ability to be constantly revived.  I can recall specific times in my life when I felt broken, changed, and powerless.  But those times were short-lived.  I have always felt lucky that my spirit is strong.  It took some very hard times to teach me that I will always rise again, but now that I know, even in the midst of darkness, I know the light will be quick to arrive if I look for it.

This is probably why the simple (and only) words to one of my favorite songs are: "This time around, you can be anyone."  There is such power in realizing I can be exactly what I want or need to be, and that I can change, and that's a beautiful, powerful act.


I love stories of rebirth.  I love knowing that I can try anything on the planet, and if it doesn't work, I didn't fail.  I am always made better by the trying, by the experience.  I love knowing that I am me, and I am inherently good, but the me I know today will not be the same in ten years' time.  But that me will also be inherently good.


Today, Easter falls on a gorgeous day - the type of day that is so gorgeous you sort of want to burst.  My doors and windows are open.  Trees and flowers are in bloom.  Birds are singing.  The sun is shining, but it's soft.  It's the sort of day you can imagine being the perfect reminder that everything grows, everything changes, and life can be beautiful if you're open to beauty.  


I can not always ignore the darkness in the world.  I struggle to even watch the news - wars, murders, natural disasters - all create suffering, and I don't want to be blind to the struggle.  At the same time, I don't want to let the knowledge of that suffering snuff out the small amount of light I may be carrying.  

So I will keep being renewed and reborn within myself, within life, on a beautiful earth.  That is what feels right to me, and maybe some good will come to my corners of earth for it.  It seems to be the only thing that makes sense.  Strange that constant growth and change can bring peace and balance - but true, for me.

Happy Easter, and I hope you're all being exactly who you want to be.  And also having chocolate bunnies.

"So long as a person is capable of self-renewal, they are a living being."
Henri Frederic Amiel

Super Food #4: Garlic

It seems like every single recipe I use calls for minced garlic.  That's not a bad thing, because garlic is super good for you!

 Garlic...
1. Fights cancer (primarily colorectal, gastric, and prostate cancers)
2. Fights cardiovascular disease! (Lowers blood pressure, fights platelet aggregation, lowers triglycerides, and LDL - bad cholesterol)
3. Is an anti-inflammatory.
4. Is an anti-viral.

Garlic has to be crushed/minced/pressed to release the sulfur compound allicin, the amino acid in garlic that makes it so awesome.  In addition to allicin, garlic also offers Vitamin B6, Vitamin C, saponins, phosphorous, potassium, zinc, selenium, polyphenols, and arginine.

The most nutritious form of garlic is crushed/minced/pressed, but garlic powders and pills still carry some good nutrients, just not nearly as much.

Garlic is stinky, but delicious, and goes with just about anything.  
One good recipe is here: http://www.superfoodsrx.com/kitchen/garlic/garlic-and-black-pepper-10-minute-marinated-salmon.html

Random Saturday Ramblings...

My biometric screening revealed to me that I am super healthy inside (my cholesterol numbers, both good and bad, were "maybe the best I've ever seen" - doctor's words!), but my triglycerides were, while still normal, a little higher than I prefer them.  Darn my love of fatty treat foods!  As I say that, I am contemplating getting a milkshake while out today - UGH.  Have. To. Break. This. One. Habit.


And I know I'm going to have delicious mexican food and several margaritas tomorrow at Ann's birthday lunch.  Hey, no one's perfect.


Speaking of tomorrow, we are taking Macy to do her "temperament test" at Camp Woof while we're at lunch.  She has to hang out for a few hours so they can make sure she's good with other dogs so she can stay there while we're in Mexico - I am getting so excited about this trip!  Things have lined up so nicely.  I got a $20 deal on a Brazilian Wax (hey, not shaving while on vacation is nice), and a free chipless manicure/pedicure and brow wax (thanks to a thank-you gift card for The Posh Spot spa from a coworker), I have three new bathing suits (two piece, one piece/vintage, and a sports suit for snorkeling), and I think the trip will overall be a great break from the "real world" - *sigh of contentment*.


I always listen to smooth jazz while hanging out at home and cleaning, reading, cooking, blogging, etc.  Not sure when that happened, but I do.


At my monthly weigh/measure at the gym, I weighed the same, but lost some inches.  This means I am building muscle = a good thing, I was a weenie.  Now I can pack a punch.  Just saying.

I am going to Dalton today to hang out with my family (i.e. eat yummy things my parents cook and let the dog play).   


I am rarely in a bad mood lately.


I sort of want to see "Hop", "Your Highness", "Arthur", "Rango" and "Born to be Wild" - but can I bring myself to pay to see them?  Hm.  We might do "Born to be Wild" tomorrow in IMAX.  I love IMAX.  Yep.

Pumpin' Iron

Of course, I am not truly pumping iron, since free weights are not my thing, but I have been working out a lot lately.  Almost every day, in fact.  That's a big change for me, but it just gets addictive.  Even thirty minutes a day makes me feel different, and my body wants to keep it going.  I am not really worried about losing weight, because my weight and even my BMI are really healthy.  I just wanted to feel better, to tone up, to be stronger.  The working out makes me sleep better, my mood is elevated pretty consistently, I have more energy, and I don't crave junk foods as much.  Win/win situation, except now on days I don't get to work out, I feel like a total blob.  Weird.

At any rate, I have been proud of myself for being open to new things - the new exercise (and new strength that is really noticeable) has made me feel more adventurous with new foods (who knew I like eggplant?  I do, now.) and new activities (have been out to hit golf balls and to practice tennis lately, and both were enjoyable).  I am visiting one of the aquatic centers in Cobb tomorrow to practice swimming - I want to be able to snorkel in Mexico in three weeks!  I CAN swim, but I'm not great at it and have no form.  Wes will be helping me, and he's like Michael Phelps in a pool, so I should get better quickly.

Now, if I only had a tan....