Everyone goes through phases in life. I have been in a very strange funk for the past year or so, feeling generally uninspired, weak, and stagnant. I originally chalked it up to bad luck, then not having the right people around me, then just not being the right person. Now, I think it's just time to get outside my comfort zone and begin growing again.
I have this problem with having far too many interests. I am curious about most everything, and that makes it hard to get deeply acquainted with any one subject, activity, or process. I envy friends who can grow their skills exponentially by solid practice and devotion of time to anything - yoga, knitting, writing, volunteering. I get bored so quickly, always jumping mentally and emotionally from one subject area to another.
I know I need to give some extra time and love to sprouting seeds within myself, but I can't stop being myself - I'll always be crazy curious. I am trying to embrace that, but learn how to direct it in the best of ways.
There is something in me that is innately tied to the seasons changing - as we've started to shift from winter to spring, I feel fresher, and more mentally fertile, and ready to start pushing myself to grow. It's a bit odd not having a built-in network of a few friends who are similar to me and want to do the same things, but this is some of my problem - I need to meet new people, forge new connections, find some new like minds to be interested in. Friendships should evolve from that, with the right people. I just need to put myself out there.
So, I am making more concerted efforts to say hello to people at yoga. To attend some spiritual and educational/intellectual events and workshops. To spend some time alone, reading, writing, meditating. To learn how to meditate better, for that matter. I need to push my mind and my heart, and that requires a bit of courage. I hope I have it.
To that end, I am considering lots of new additions to my calendar - festivals, retreats/trips with like-minded folks, retreat time alone, discussion groups, activity outings, and more.
I once saw Keith Urban speak about the beginning of his relationship with Nicole Kidman. He told about them sitting on a park bench in Sydney one day, and he asked her a simple question - "How are you? How's your heart?" - and she paused, and replied - "Open." My hope is that this year, if asked about my mind or heart, I can simply reply that they are both - "open".
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, October 7, 2011
Navigating the Daily Deal World...
I love daily deals. I do. I have given myself a proverbial pat on the back (or maybe a real one) many times for scoring great deals on everything from manicures to pottery painting, 5-star meals to cupcakes.
But the daily deal scene has become overwhelming and slightly risky lately as retailers/service providers have found ways to be sneaky...so here are some tips for getting good deals while being smart about it.
1. Always check the company's reviews on Yelp or other similar websites. If they're too new to be reviewed or aren't listed at all, be careful. You will often see reviews from folks who bought daily deals and had good or bad experiences, and these are good to know ahead of time. There are always companies that offer these deals, but then try to cheat the system by skimping on service. Luckily, folks will review them, and you can benefit. (On that note, if you buy a service, review the company to help others!)
2. Always check the company's website for the true pricing of a product. If it's not listed online, call and ask for the normal pricing of a product (don't mention the daily deal). Why? I once almost bought a spa treatment for $25. The value was listed at $100, and the fine print specified that I would need to pay tax and a 20% gratuity on the the entire $100 value. However, when I checked their website, the exact same service was listed at $75. Sneaky! And I've seen this many times since that happened.
3. On that note, check the fine print for that "must also pay tax and gratuity on full value" line - and feel free to call and ask the company specifically if they are adhering to it. I've seen some companies accept a voucher and never mention it (i.e. they very intelligently built the tax into their daily deal price), while others performed a service and suddenly asked me for the additional cash, while giving me no option to pay the gratuity or not, regardless of quality of service.
4. Call to check for open appointments before buying a deal! I know several people (including myself) who have bought deals for services or events, only to call and be told they have no openings for six months because they sold so many special offers, or that they're only open on weekdays when you can't make it to their location, or that the "special deal class" is only one day per week or month. To be fair, some websites will refund your money if that happens, but some won't, so be careful.
5. Check expiration dates. Some are in a year, some are in two months.
6. Check restrictions - I once bought a "bracelet making class" voucher, only to realize I wasn't allowed to decide which bracelet I wanted to make, it was one specific design, and I wasn't crazy about it.
7. Expect the up-sell with some services. I've seen this primarily with medical or spa services, in the form of trying to book a second appointment at the end of the "deal" appointment - the second one at full price, of course. Just be ready to say no if you don't plan to go back.
8. Check the location/map! I see terrific deals on a daily basis, right before I check the map and realize they're an hour from me - no, thanks. And check parking - it's no fun to get a great deal online, arrive, and have to pay a $10 parking fee unexpectedly.
9. Don't impulse-buy. It's tough when you see a terrific savings offer jump into your inbox. But just remember - there will be 40 new deals coming at you tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Missing a few won't hurt. The BEST plan of action is to ignore most deals unless they're something you've been considering doing or will spend money on regardless. However, I often bookmark a deal and come back to it later in the day or the day after, to see how I feel after I've thought about it. Most of the time, I realize I don't need it, but occasionally, I know it's something that will save me bucks, so I go for it.
10. If you REALLY wanted/needed a deal and it sold out, call the company directly. Tell them the deal sold out, but you know the deal sites always take a cut of the money anyway, and ask if the company would be willing to let you pay them the same amount directly for the same service. If a business owner is smart, they'll say yes - they're making more, anyway, because Groupon/LivingSocial/HalfOffDepot/whoever isn't taking a cut.
Since I started being more careful about my deal spending, I've wasted a lot less money and had some terrific experiences! There are still honorable business owners out there using these deals to gain visibility, get new customers in the door, and even (gasp) make money! You have to do a little searching to find out who they are, but then you can sincerely enjoy the savings much more!
But the daily deal scene has become overwhelming and slightly risky lately as retailers/service providers have found ways to be sneaky...so here are some tips for getting good deals while being smart about it.
2. Always check the company's website for the true pricing of a product. If it's not listed online, call and ask for the normal pricing of a product (don't mention the daily deal). Why? I once almost bought a spa treatment for $25. The value was listed at $100, and the fine print specified that I would need to pay tax and a 20% gratuity on the the entire $100 value. However, when I checked their website, the exact same service was listed at $75. Sneaky! And I've seen this many times since that happened.
3. On that note, check the fine print for that "must also pay tax and gratuity on full value" line - and feel free to call and ask the company specifically if they are adhering to it. I've seen some companies accept a voucher and never mention it (i.e. they very intelligently built the tax into their daily deal price), while others performed a service and suddenly asked me for the additional cash, while giving me no option to pay the gratuity or not, regardless of quality of service.
4. Call to check for open appointments before buying a deal! I know several people (including myself) who have bought deals for services or events, only to call and be told they have no openings for six months because they sold so many special offers, or that they're only open on weekdays when you can't make it to their location, or that the "special deal class" is only one day per week or month. To be fair, some websites will refund your money if that happens, but some won't, so be careful.
5. Check expiration dates. Some are in a year, some are in two months.
6. Check restrictions - I once bought a "bracelet making class" voucher, only to realize I wasn't allowed to decide which bracelet I wanted to make, it was one specific design, and I wasn't crazy about it.
7. Expect the up-sell with some services. I've seen this primarily with medical or spa services, in the form of trying to book a second appointment at the end of the "deal" appointment - the second one at full price, of course. Just be ready to say no if you don't plan to go back.
8. Check the location/map! I see terrific deals on a daily basis, right before I check the map and realize they're an hour from me - no, thanks. And check parking - it's no fun to get a great deal online, arrive, and have to pay a $10 parking fee unexpectedly.
9. Don't impulse-buy. It's tough when you see a terrific savings offer jump into your inbox. But just remember - there will be 40 new deals coming at you tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Missing a few won't hurt. The BEST plan of action is to ignore most deals unless they're something you've been considering doing or will spend money on regardless. However, I often bookmark a deal and come back to it later in the day or the day after, to see how I feel after I've thought about it. Most of the time, I realize I don't need it, but occasionally, I know it's something that will save me bucks, so I go for it.
10. If you REALLY wanted/needed a deal and it sold out, call the company directly. Tell them the deal sold out, but you know the deal sites always take a cut of the money anyway, and ask if the company would be willing to let you pay them the same amount directly for the same service. If a business owner is smart, they'll say yes - they're making more, anyway, because Groupon/LivingSocial/HalfOffDepot/whoever isn't taking a cut.
Since I started being more careful about my deal spending, I've wasted a lot less money and had some terrific experiences! There are still honorable business owners out there using these deals to gain visibility, get new customers in the door, and even (gasp) make money! You have to do a little searching to find out who they are, but then you can sincerely enjoy the savings much more!
Tips for Job Searchers!
We are going through resumes at the moment, searching for a new administrative assistant. We're looking for a 9 that we can turn into a 10, but mostly, we're getting 4's. It's terrible.
So, while I am thinking of it, here are some tips for all the job hunters out there. They seem self-explanatory to me, but I've seriously seen all of these mistakes 50 times today.
1. When applying for a position via a company's internal website...DO NOT type anything in all capital letters! Nothing! It looks unprofessional. It does NOT make you stand out. (I CAN CAPITALIZE in a BLOG because it's NOT A JOB APPLICATION!) :)
2. Check ALL grammar, spelling, contractions, tenses, etc. I can't stress this enough. It may seem unfair, but with hundreds of applicants for every position, the first grammatical/spelling mistake we see in someone's application usually gets it declined immediately. If someone simply doesn't know they're making the mistakes, they're not very likely to get a job dealing with communications/correspondence, anyway - we skill-test, people.
3. Do research on the company before you apply, or else you really won't know what to write in your application. It's VERY easy for a hiring manager to tell that someone is applying for every job they see, instead of this particularly fitting one.
4. Read the instructions carefully! If a line item asks you to list two supervisors, their title, and their contact information, and you only list one, or list six, or don't include titles and contact information, you've just weeded your own resume out.
5. When asked about the motivation to apply for a particular job, be honest, but don't expect many calls back if your true motivation for applying is to "be employed" (i.e. get any possible job"), "make money", "move to (insert any new place)", "climb the corporate ladder", or "get my foot in the door."
6. If there's a place to paste your resume, do so, but CHECK THE FORMATTING, and fix it so the spacing and punctuation is all correct. If you simply paste your resume and don't fix the formatting, that translates to lazy, to a hiring manager.
7. If there's another place to upload your resume, even if you also pasted it, definitely upload it. The uploaded/formatted resume looks better.
8. If at all possible, tailor a cover letter for every position you apply for. Attach it. Attach letters of recommendation, or reference sheets. Hiring managers like to see that you're prepared - but don't attach personal information, that borders on unprofessional.
9. Finally, have a public LinkedIn page with a photo that anyone can see! In theory, we all want to think appearances don't matter, but in this economy, it simply isn't true. With hundreds of applicants, a solid LinkedIn page with a great photo can show that you present well, and can make a huge difference in getting you an interview!
So, while I am thinking of it, here are some tips for all the job hunters out there. They seem self-explanatory to me, but I've seriously seen all of these mistakes 50 times today.
1. When applying for a position via a company's internal website...DO NOT type anything in all capital letters! Nothing! It looks unprofessional. It does NOT make you stand out. (I CAN CAPITALIZE in a BLOG because it's NOT A JOB APPLICATION!) :)
2. Check ALL grammar, spelling, contractions, tenses, etc. I can't stress this enough. It may seem unfair, but with hundreds of applicants for every position, the first grammatical/spelling mistake we see in someone's application usually gets it declined immediately. If someone simply doesn't know they're making the mistakes, they're not very likely to get a job dealing with communications/correspondence, anyway - we skill-test, people.
3. Do research on the company before you apply, or else you really won't know what to write in your application. It's VERY easy for a hiring manager to tell that someone is applying for every job they see, instead of this particularly fitting one.
4. Read the instructions carefully! If a line item asks you to list two supervisors, their title, and their contact information, and you only list one, or list six, or don't include titles and contact information, you've just weeded your own resume out.
5. When asked about the motivation to apply for a particular job, be honest, but don't expect many calls back if your true motivation for applying is to "be employed" (i.e. get any possible job"), "make money", "move to (insert any new place)", "climb the corporate ladder", or "get my foot in the door."
6. If there's a place to paste your resume, do so, but CHECK THE FORMATTING, and fix it so the spacing and punctuation is all correct. If you simply paste your resume and don't fix the formatting, that translates to lazy, to a hiring manager.
7. If there's another place to upload your resume, even if you also pasted it, definitely upload it. The uploaded/formatted resume looks better.
8. If at all possible, tailor a cover letter for every position you apply for. Attach it. Attach letters of recommendation, or reference sheets. Hiring managers like to see that you're prepared - but don't attach personal information, that borders on unprofessional.
9. Finally, have a public LinkedIn page with a photo that anyone can see! In theory, we all want to think appearances don't matter, but in this economy, it simply isn't true. With hundreds of applicants, a solid LinkedIn page with a great photo can show that you present well, and can make a huge difference in getting you an interview!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Gift-Giving
Now, we send long lists of things we want. We expect someone to give us a gift if we buy one for them. We agonize over how much someone might spend on us, worried that we have to spend an equal amount on them. We ask for cash, or gift cards. We expect gifts in the first place.
Doesn't this seem odd? It's like gift-giving has lost its beauty, its surprise, its thought. Sure, it's tougher to find the right gift for someone when they haven't given you a list, but it's a great chance to ask yourself what you actually WANT to give to a person you care about, not what they have explicitly stated a desire for. If you can't think of a single thing you'd like to give someone, why are you buying them a gift, anyway? It's not a requirement, and shouldn't be expected.
I am guilty of messing this up, and I hope to correct it...
Gifts should come from the heart. That's my point. Not a list, not expectations, not duty. Just from the heart.
Monday, September 12, 2011
My Thoughts on 9/11...
"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him." - Aldous Huxley
I admit, I was a bit unplugged from all of the media focus on 9/11 yesterday. Part of me didn't want to think about it - not because I don't care, but because I don't always believe looking back is healthy. At least, not in the way most people do it. I saw Facebook statuses all over the place that were still full of hate - and that's part of why 9/11 happened in the first place. Do we never learn?
What happened on September 11, 2001 was a tragedy in a manner so massive it's hard to contemplate. I will never forget being woken up by my college roommate (who recently passed away) because there had been "a plane crash", and then seeing calls from my parents, checking in on me. In my morning fuzz, I didn't realize "a plane crash" was a very big deal. I stumbled into my (other) roommate's room and looked at the TV. Within three minutes, the second plane came out of nowhere and hit the second tower, and we suddenly knew how bad things really were.
Being the wife of a firefighter/first responder now, my heart aches not only for the innocent people who simply went to work that day and never made it home, but for the rescue workers who dove into a building to save lives, and ended up losing their own. If Wes had been a firefighter during those hard days, I wonder if he would have felt compelled to go to New York to assist in the search and rescue?
And yet, I can not feel hate. I don't hate Muslims, or the citizens of Afghanistan or Pakistan. I don't even want revenge. I don't think revenge brings healing, not one tiny bit. While feeling a healthy type of pride for your home country is not a bad thing, the hate, arrogance, and ignorance that Americans (and citizens of other countries, as well, though Americans seem to be notorious for it) can often show is likely what causes us to have such strained relationships with other countries. We can not be good global citizens with such attitudes. We want other countries to respect us, but we don't feel respect for them. This simply isn't logical. We have a horrific view of "propaganda" (the word itself calls to mind Hitler's media), and yet, we have no problem telling our children that America is the only country worth a damn. How is this OK? How is it healthy?
I would never condone or accept what the people behind 9/11 did to our country. But I would also never condone or accept America doing the same to them. It creates a spiraling pattern of hate and violence that will simply NEVER HELP ANYTHING.
So, yesterday, on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I didn't want to cry, or concentrate on what we lost. If that makes me cold and unfeeling, so be it. I wanted to think about the future, and how we could be BETTER. More educated, less ignorant, with a much better perspective on the world and its inhabitants. After all, America makes up less than 5% of the world's population. If we don't respect the other 95%, we are really setting ourselves up for disaster - economically, culturally, educationally, and in many other ways.
I hope the memory of what happened on September 11th makes us all look to the future with unveiled eyes - if we don't, then those lives really were lost in vain.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Staying put for now...
After our trip to Jacksonville to check out the city and the details of the new position I was being considered for, we came home and let everything sink in to see how we really felt about it.
Luckily, we were both on the same page - we could rationalize any decision, concentrate on the money, the advancement, the proximity to the beach, etc. But in the end, our GUTS both said no, we wouldn't be happy with the decision to move for this job. That was really all the reassurance I needed. The harder part was overcoming my fear of disappointing the people in my company who have believed in me and promoted me. I hope I can be gracious enough that they understand I WANT to grow, but not if it costs my family (being me, Wes and the animals) our happiness.
At the same time, the entire process is making me consider all sorts of things.
Can I make money doing something I can feel proud of?
How important is community and WHERE we live in the equation of us feeling fulfilled and happy?
I realize that happiness isn't something that can be chased and caught, like some exotic bird. There is no "two plus two equals four" to happiness. You are happy, or you are not. But can one simply decide to be? I don't think it's that simple.
I learned a few years ago that love can be defined as our response to our highest values. If I apply that to life (instead of just to people), it stands to reason that if my life aligns with what I value the most, I will love it, right?
The thought process continues...
Luckily, we were both on the same page - we could rationalize any decision, concentrate on the money, the advancement, the proximity to the beach, etc. But in the end, our GUTS both said no, we wouldn't be happy with the decision to move for this job. That was really all the reassurance I needed. The harder part was overcoming my fear of disappointing the people in my company who have believed in me and promoted me. I hope I can be gracious enough that they understand I WANT to grow, but not if it costs my family (being me, Wes and the animals) our happiness.
At the same time, the entire process is making me consider all sorts of things.
Can I make money doing something I can feel proud of?
How important is community and WHERE we live in the equation of us feeling fulfilled and happy?
I realize that happiness isn't something that can be chased and caught, like some exotic bird. There is no "two plus two equals four" to happiness. You are happy, or you are not. But can one simply decide to be? I don't think it's that simple.
I learned a few years ago that love can be defined as our response to our highest values. If I apply that to life (instead of just to people), it stands to reason that if my life aligns with what I value the most, I will love it, right?
The thought process continues...
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Simple...
In the middle of one of the most hectic times in my life, I often yearn for something simple.
...to not measure time. To wake up with the sun, when it feels natural. To sit on a front porch and watch. Just watch. Notice. Think.
Why does no one seem to value these simple acts any more?
"Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." - Georgia O'Keefe
...to not measure time. To wake up with the sun, when it feels natural. To sit on a front porch and watch. Just watch. Notice. Think.
Why does no one seem to value these simple acts any more?
"Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time." - Georgia O'Keefe
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