Class.

As many of you know, Caleb Kibble was in a pretty bad motorcycle accident yesterday and is in the hospital having surgeries - this blog is not about his accident, but about something it has made me see and feel.

As most of my graduating class is aware, I am involved with planning our 10-year reunion, which is happening this July.  I have kept in touch with lots of classmates and am always impressed that our graduating class has produced the people I know and see around me (figuratively speaking).  There are plenty of people who wouldn't miss a reunion, because they know it's their only chance in 10 years to see people they grew up with, and that's a valuable thing.

Then there are others who keep debating - they can't decide if they should attend a reunion for a list of reasons - they aren't sure they will have anything in common with people (you already do, you graduated together), they are afraid they haven't accomplished much (don't be silly), or they simply don't feel close to many high school friends any more.

But you know, the minute something bad happens to one of our classmates, the outpouring of concern and love is really amazing.  I am not always the most vocal with my concern for others, simply because I know they are probably inundated with calls, e-mails, texts, chats, and generally more communication than they can deal with.  So I sit back and watch our classmates who may say they're not sure they feel close to people from high school express real concern for someone they are tied to by the simple fact that we spent several formative years of our lives together.  There have been times things have happened to me or others I know, and the expression of caring and concern from people we barely knew in high school was really comforting and sweet.  It's a beautiful thing.

I think my class has class, know what I am saying?

So even though you may not keep in touch with many high school friends, or you may not be sure you have things in common with many of them, or even if you just feel strange attending a reunion because it's been ten years, remember that if something should happen to you, there's a large group of people who WILL care about what's happening to you, simply because we come from the same place.  We may not all be texting each other and hanging out during the holidays, and you may not even realize you care about a classmate.  But let tragedy come to their family, and you realize you definitely care.  

That's a great thing, and worth my once-every-ten-years effort to see you all.  I hope you feel the same.  Yes, I am helping plan the event, and yes, I want people to come in general.  But Caleb's accident and the response to it has reminded me of why it really is worth it to both plan and attend this event in our hometown.


On a side note (and another example of why our class has class), when we polled everyone regarding the reunion and asked how we should spend extra ticket funds raised, a huge majority voted to give the extra funds to a non-profit or group in need in our hometown, instead of to buy extra food for the reunion.  Good choice, ladies and gents.  When Caleb pulls through this (and he will!), I am hoping to speak to him and Sarah and possibly get their help choosing a group to receive any extra funds.  Or we may take classmate suggestions on who/what to donate to, and let everyone vote, yes?


Do any of you know of classmates or classmates' children who have passed away since we graduated?  I know Alesa's baby (Miller), but that is all.  If you can think of other folks who would have been with us at a 10-year reunion but will not be, I'd love to know about them so we can honor them.

Not cool.

Know what is very uncool?  Friends who are really (super) needy when they are single, but as soon as they are dating someone, are always too busy for you, because they've planned their lives months in advance with the guy (because they simply transferred their neediness and insecurity to him).  Crappy.  The end.

Compassion

I think this is one of my biggest flaws - that I am not always compassionate enough.  I don't feel all that moved to help when bad things happen to people (sometimes, there are exceptions to this), I don't cry hearing someone's sad family story, I don't feel strange if I don't volunteer every few weeks, I sometimes make it really obvious (not intentionally) if I don't like someone.  I often wish I were more compassionate.  

And yet, I am sometimes amazed at how much LESS compassionate than me others can be.  It pains me to hear people say that they don't feel they should give of their time and resources to others because those people got themselves into trouble, so too bad.  Yes, it's true.  And I am all about justice.  But when those people's bad actions harm others - children, for example - I can't stand by and do nothing.  I can't change anyone, but I can help in small ways, and I want to.  The whole "survival of the fittest" attitude about it really hurts my heart, because it's almost never as simple as it sounds. 


I also see people quite often who feel it is beneath them to volunteer.  They want to spend their time and money on themselves, period.  Maybe on someone they like personally.  I get that.  I am selfish, in some ways - I love the treats in my life, and my personal time.  But the thought that I shouldn't have to give of my time to strangers at all - it seems too extremely selfish.


It's a balancing act, this matter of giving of time and money.  I am far from perfecting it, and often just fall off the tightrope and stare at it, honestly.  But I want to try, and what's more, I want to surround myself with people who feel the same way, and in my world of mostly successful young professionals, it's proving hard to find.  Big downer.

Bad attitudes...

...are something I just can not tolerate, and I seem surrounded by them, sometimes.  

Example: today at work, our Senior VP asked me to look over some quarterly numbers and discuss with the group how we're looking compared to other offices in our company.  Each office really functions as its own entity, but we're all one company, so it's important to be educated, right?  

Apparently, for some of my office mates, it's not important, or not even worth their time to listen to.  Some were rude, not listening and chatting with people around them (they do this all the time and it's arrogant).  Others preferred to say those numbers (the not so great ones) just couldn't be right, and they really can't be concerned with them.  Really?  Your attitude sucks.

I see this in my everyday life as well - people whose attitudes are just bad overall.  They always expect the worst of people, or they consider their own time more valuable than anyone else's, or they are just always in a bad mood, which brings everyone around them down.  I am nowhere near perfect, but I CAN say I try to intentionally keep a good balance in life - being informed and educated, but maintaining a positive attitude as well.  

And in the end, as much as a negative attitude irritates me (and it does), I know it will be more harmful to the person who has it, right?

Boats.

Most people don't know that boats (small ones on lakes, not cruise ships) scare me a little.  When I was in high school, a friend of mine was killed in a boating accident on Carter's Lake in north Georgia, and boats have freaked me out ever since.

Thanks to HalfOffDepot, I decided to take a chance on a 12-passenger pontoon on Lake Lanier with some friends.  It was a great deal, what can I say?  I was a bit nervous because I didn't grow up with boats and have little knowledge of them - but luckily, my hubby has lived his life going out on the lake, so he felt no fear!  


We headed out with four friends - it took me a few minutes to quiet the butterflies in my tummy, but then it became quite nice on the lake - calming, breezy, sunshiney.  I don't like when the boat goes too fast, and you couldn't pay me to get behind a boat on a tube or skis, but I am making progress, and I feel a (tiny) sense of accomplishment in this area.

Failure.

I often wonder why we're so afraid of failure.  One of my favorite parts of "The Geography of Bliss" (terrific book!) was the chapter about Iceland, and how one of the things that creates happiness among the residents there is that they have no real fear of failure.  Everyone is encouraged to try anything and everything, and there is no negative emotion connected to not succeeding at something.  People are encouraged to try more than one job, school, hobby, and if they don't love it, it's still considered positive that they tried it.  They support artists and don't believe in the notion of "starving artists", because they are attempting something good.  I love that.

When I am old(er) and look back on my life, I don't find much value in saying "I succeeded" at a few things.  I'd rather look back and see that my life was full, because I tried so many things.  The trying and not being afraid to fail is the only way to discover things I might actually be good at, you know?

Mexico was muy bueno.

We had a terrific time in Mexico!  Our trip in a nutshell:

Arrived in Cancun and were greeted by super nice people in the airport who helped us get a good taxi to our resort.

At the resort entrance, we were given cold towels and champagne to refresh us (it worked). At check in, everything was already in the system, so we were sent straight to our room, where a bellboy showed us everything and had our bags delivered.

The room was fantastic - all marble and granite, with a huge comfy bed, couch and TV, huge terrace outside, big gorgeous bathroom with stone shower and large jet bathtub for two, stocked fridge, safe and closets with drawers, etc.  As Wes said, you couldn't help but be relaxed in that suite.


After checking out the room, we headed to Le Marche restaurant to have lunch - a gorgeous restaurant with outdoor patios and a big thatch roof that went up a few stories.  Natural light, etc.  The lunch buffet was marvelous, with just about anything you could ask for, and any drinks you wanted included, of course.


We explored the resort and went to book our outings (snorkeling, Mayan ruins, and fishing for Wes).  We were amazed at the efficiency and organization of the resort - everything was already paid, in the system, and ready to print for us.  


We made our way to the (huge) salt-water pool, complete with every sort of cabana, swim-up bars, chefs outside making paella, chairs in the water for cooler sunbathing, etc, etc.  I could go on.  We got some sun and had a couple of drinks before going in to shower for dinner.


That night, there as a large outdoor Mexican fiesta, with lots of authentic Mexican food (think various stations of chefs making all sorts of fresh dishes), folk dancers, mariachi band, etc.  We talked to a nice couple from Canada and enjoyed the food and music before heading to bed fairly early - we had to be up at 6:00 AM the next day!


After getting up so early, we caught a bus (the nicest bus I have ever been on) with guides Hugo and Paco to pick up folks from some other resorts and head to Tulum, an ancient Mayan port city that was at its height between the 1200's and 1400's - VERY OLD.  It was pretty interesting to tread the same earth as such ancient folks, and the beaches at Tulum were fantastic.  Lots of people, but still gorgeous.  Wes took his first dip in the Gulf waters there.


After Tulum, we were off to Xel-Ha (pronounced more like "shell-ha"), which is a huge natural aquarium - an inlet where the sea converges with natural fresh-water rivers, and the snorkeling is fantastic.  We had lunch (also all-inclusive) and started snorkeling, and didn't want to stop - it was so cool - my first time, really.  I was following tropical fish all over the place.  It's a strange feeling to see a huge stingray right by you underneath the water.  


We had to stop snorkeling to do the Sea Trek, where we put on pressurized breathing helmets (you breathe normally) and went down a ladder to the ocean floor, where we walked on the bed of the inlet with fish and stingrays - awesome experience.  The divers brought the stingrays right up to us so we could touch them, and they were giving Wes little nudges on his legs.  How many people can say they've walked on the ocean floor? :)


We were exhausted after all the walking and swimming, but had a lovely dinner at the seafood restaurant on the beach at the resort, and then we headed to one of the courtyards to listen to the band that plays there each night (cover band).  Folks were drinking and dancing - fun atmosphere.


The next day, Wes had an early fishing charter scheduled.  He got up and headed down to catch his ride...and came back an hour later, as no one had showed up to get him.  The trip was canceled due to rough seas, apparently another vessel had capsized, so trips were canceled for two days.  BUMMER.  Wes was totally sad all morning, but we had breakfast and spent the morning on the beach under a shady thatch umbrella - super relaxing.  The beach waitress kept the drinks coming, I read my book, and Wes ignored the red "danger" flags and went swimming in the ocean, which exhausted him because it was so rough out.  After a lunch at the beach-front restaurant (again, the terrace was so nice and breezy), I made a spa appointment and Wes had a nap.  My massage was fabulous and relaxing.  After showers (bath for me), we headed to the Japanese restaurant for a sushi/hibachi dinner, chatted with other couples there, and then looked in on the evening's theater entertainment (there was a show every night), which was a Michael Jackson show - pretty cool.  


This doesn't cover everything, but does cover some of the highlights of our trip.  We were amazed by how clean, beautiful, and well-run everything was.  Everywhere we went, things were organized and efficient, and the Mexican people were fantastically nice.  The resort was run so well that it seemed miles ahead of any American resorts we've visited, and even the other companies we came into contact with (tour folks, Tulum, Xel-Ha) had everything crazily under control and running beautifully.  The weather was lovely and sunny (minus the bad water that took away Wes's fishing).


We'd definitely go back to Mexico - and for people who love to see new places, that's saying something!