learning.

I am learning a lot of things lately.

Sometimes you have to consider if a person is really a good friend at all - do they bring anything good to your life?  Would you call them if you were in need, or needed to just talk?  Are you certain the bad things about them are far outweighed by the good?  Sometimes the answer is no.  And I don't even feel very sad about it.  I am more disappointed in myself for creating a fantasy of friendship, for chasing. 

Then again, there are other types of friends.  Friends you don't trust with anything personal, but like to see occasionally.  It's fair to recognize that's what someone is, right?

Sometimes, even though you know the logic and correct-ness of being fair and objective....sometimes, you just want someone to care about you so much that they're on your side, they get angry for you, they stand up for you.  It's normal to want, but most people make efforts to be objective.  You can't blame them, but your heart feels what it feels, so it's not always easy.

Sometimes you have to stop pretending, even if it hurts someone.  The pretending is hurting yourself.

There's something special about a man who accepts you just as you are, chooses to love you, and never questions you, just goes with the flow of YOU.  Men - watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" for a solid example of this.

Being the bigger person is often just letting someone else think they're right, and letting yourself get sort of screwed.

Summer days are hard to appreciate...until December.  I am STILL trying to enjoy my summer, soak up the sun, take in the good and forget the bad.  I am trying to enjoy my summer just like I am trying to enjoy my life.

I don't feel like I have it together lately.  I am trying.  But I feel a little bit like falling apart.