Amelia Island. I recommend it.

At the end of June, following our amazing night at the NKOTBSB concert, Ann, Lindsey, and myself piled into the car with our luggage and some snacks and headed to Amelia Island for a few days of R&R.  I had never been to Amelia Island/Fernandina Beach, so I had no idea what to expect, but I had read the town wins awards for being the best small beach town to live in, etc.

We were surprised to NOT take the interstate for much of the drive - a lot of it was on highways through smaller Georgia towns.  That wasn't so bad, it did break things up a bit.

The island itself is small, but very cute.  The beach is long, and there are almost NO hotels/condos on the beach - it's all houses/beach cottages, which gives it a homey feel, more relaxed and less touristy.  The beach is clean, with soft sand, some shells and no seaweed (at least while we we there).  Beach parking is free everywhere - HUGE plus!

The historic Fernandina Beach area is too cute - walkable, with nice shops and restaurants. There's a state park on the island, a lighthouse, and loads of outdoor space for kids to play.  


It was an incredibly relaxed trip - so relaxed, in fact, that for two nights we were in the hotel by 9:30 PM, curled up with books and watching movies.  On some trips, that would seem like a waste - but it seemed natural, comfortable, and relaxing.  I hardly ever get to totally switch off at home, so being in bed with a book, snack, and movie was very nice.  We also caught a movie in the theater on a rainy day, drove/explored randomly, ate some yummy seafood meals, and walked around historic Old Fernandina Beach.  We found a beach side bar that had live music, great atmosphere, and a lovely view of the dunes. 

Because there are so many places I want to visit/see, it's rare I will vacation somewhere twice, but I would definitely go back to Amelia Island, no question.  Next time - totally taking the dog.

 

Boy Band Concerts.

I have been to a lot of concerts.  All sorts of concerts.  Tiny (15 people) to huge (25,000 people), Rock, country, alternative, pop, bluegrass, etc.  Indoors, outdoors.  Lots.  

I typically enjoy concerts.  But the most fun I have (admittedly) ever had at a concert has to be the New Kids on the Block.  I discovered this halfway by accident.  I liked the New Kids when I was young, but being born in 1983, I wasn't even 10 when they were huge, so I was at the end of their fan curve.  Then I listened to their cassette tape a lot for several years. So a couple of years ago, when they came out with two new songs I liked (Summertime and Single) and decided to tour, Wes and Ann got me tickets to their Gwinnett Arena show - halfway serious, halfway joking, I think.

But THEN we went - and it was the most fun concert I had ever been to.  The fans were tremendous, never sitting down, dancing and singing the entire time, and really participating in the whole show.  And the guys in the band totally fed off that.  Fast forward to the second time I see them - with Wes, in Nashville.  Awesome again.  Third time - outdoor show at Lakewood, in the rain - awesome again.  When they finally announced their return to Atlanta with the Backstreet Boys, there was no question I'd go see them.  

And this last concert cemented my belief that while boy band songs can sound mega-cheesy on the radio or stereo, they are perfectly suited to fantastically fun concerts.  No question.

So while I won't be attending a boy band show to hear stunning instrumentals, I will be attending to dance, sing, and have a terrific time.  Now, if NKOTB and BSB would only tour with NSync...

Babies = not for me

I try pretty often to envision myself as a parent, and I just can't do it.  The whole enterprise seems horrifying.  Being pregnant, giving birth, and then making the life changes to raise a child - it all seems like a scary movie.  

I know the pluses - the love you feel for a child, how rewarding it is to be a parent, etc.  Friends who are parents tell me all the time that all the bad is just so outweighed by the good.  But I feel terrible for them when I see them being limited, not being able to go out, stay out, live their normal lives because there's a miniature human being at home demanding their attention.  Ugh.  I respect them so much for being giving, nurturing individuals.  I don't see myself as un-giving or un-nurturing (I know those aren't words), but I also really don't see myself as a parent.  Wes wants children (one day, in the far future) IN THEORY, but in practice, I don't know if we'll reach a point of being willing to do what it takes - I don't know that it will ever truly appeal to us.  In the meantime, we have other people's kids to love, and that's perfectly OK with me.

On a last note, here are a few of the things about pregnancy that make me want to adopt if we ever do decide to be parents: http://www.cracked.com/article_19298_7-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-you-about-pregnancy.html

Expectations.

Confession: I struggle with high expectations.  

On the one hand, I really WANT to have high expectations of people in my life.  I know I can give a great deal to someone I care about, and I think that if I value myself, I will retain my high expectations of those in my life.

On the other hand, high expectations have been the source of a great deal of pain and disappointment for me.  In fairly recent times, I have been severely disappointed in people I expected to be terrific friends, and they turned out to be completely un-caring jerks.  Was the situation their fault for being terrible friends, or my fault for ever expecting them to be good ones?  

There are two people in my life who I know deserve and can achieve wonderful futures for themselves, but they both insist on lowering themselves for crappy partners and crappy cities.  Does the situation hurt me because they are making bad decisions, or because I expect them to make good ones?

I've always had a problem with birthdays - I would put monster effort into making someone feel special, so I expected them to do the same for me, so - you guessed it - I ended up having a lot of really bad birthdays.  And this year, I expected nothing.  So the simple acts of girlfriends paying for my dinner, Wes cooking for me, family making me lunch and cupcakes, and friends going out with me or sending me a sweet gift really felt nice - warm fuzzies.  


In the end, sometimes people do suck at being friends.  They can be self-centered and careless.  They can make bad decisions and make you want to throw up your hands and walk away.  But I can't control other people.  I can't always control how people make me feel.  But I can work on controlling my expectations.  It's sort of chicken-and-egg-ish, really.  Instead of expecting something great from people and being hurt when it doesn't come, maybe I should just live my life, and when someone naturally exceeds expectations as a friend, then I can be sure I appreciate that person fully.  


Yes, it's scary - even the thought of letting go of my expectations makes me feel a little panicked.  "What if people never meet them?  What if I am totally unhappy because people never step up?  What if my life and hopes for good relationships totally go to crap?"  


Here's hoping I can conquer this fear, be able to appreciate the people who show they deserve to be appreciated, and be able to just disengage my emotions from people who only seem to let me down.  I am hoping for a future in which I am happy without expecting much from others, so when they do give, I am genuinely happy and impressed by it. 

28

I turn 28 years old in five days.  Each birthday I have seems to make me more reflective on my years as they keep flying by.  My birthday this year is a calm sort of milestone, coming into a new age and new year of my life in a fairly graceful way, it seems.  

So, to reflect on my year...between 27 and 28...


*I didn't travel as much as I've love to (the amount I'd love to travel is not very doable), but I took some great trips.  I spent a few days with the girls in my family (and Ann) in New York, which was very enjoyable.  I did an overnight trip to Callaway Gardens with my parents and Wes for the hot air balloon festival - I like going there because it's so calming.  Wes and I visited New Orleans for our first anniversary and had a great time.  I took my first trip to California with Kate, and saw some of San Francisco and Sacramento - definitely need to see more of the West Coast.  And we (me and Wes) took our first all-inclusive trip to Mexico, which was magical, sunny, delicious, and adventuresome all at the same time.  Loved it. 


*Wes started his new job with Cobb Fire.  It was a long training process, but he did a great job and I think the position really suits him.  It was a change schedule-wise, but now I really quite like it.  


*We moved into our first place living totally alone - just the two of us.  We didn't mind a roommate at all, but it was a change to have a place for just the two of us.  We made sure we have two bathrooms (the one room we don't share!) and space for the animals...when we moved, it was only Callie, our senior calico cat, who we love.  And then...

*We added a new member to our family, our crazy Cocker Spaniel, Macy.  She was a complete accident, and cute-wiggled her way right into our hearts (and then our home) in about five minutes of pet-store cuddling with Wes.  Maybe it was fate, but we adore her.  She has brought a whole new level of responsibility to our lives (a sign we're not ready for children, for sure), but has also brought enormous amounts of laughter, warmth, and plain fun.


*I learned a bit about soccer from watching the World Cup, and I think it's pretty cool how intense the fans are.


*I learned a lot about friendships.  This time last year, I considered several people good friends who I now can't stand to even talk to - what was I thinking?  I was chasing people around, trying to be a good friend to them, while they could only hurt me, and didn't mind hurting me if it make their lives easier.  Looking back, I was giving, but receiving nothing from the relationships.  It may sound crass, but I honestly don't miss them.  I (needlessly) put myself through such pain while it was happening - note to self: be aware of what people bring to your life, and appreciate those who bring good.  Don't worry over the rest, they are just noise in life, but not substance.  I forget how the quote goes - but it basically says that when people show you who they really are, believe them.  I need to remember that.  And, all in all, I know that solid, lasting friendships take longer to develop than I really want to give them, but there are some great people in my life who I might one day call life-long friends.  We shall see.


*I learned to take better care of my body.  I love to indulge in all sorts of things, but I realized this year that I need to limit myself, and my body thanks me for it.  I have never been a fan of working out, but once I got into an exercise rhythm, my body grew to love it.  I am not perfect in my routines, but I am caring for my body more, and that's important.

*In keeping with taking better care of my body, I made the decision to suck it up, spend the money, and get dental work done that I had been putting off.  It was expensive and a hard day, but I had a few fillings replaced with permanent porcelain, and my mouth is much more lovely now.  This is part of a longer process, to also get wisdom teeth out and get my second round of braces.  I want to smile a lot in my life, and I want to eat a lot of great foods, so I better take care of my pearly whites, right?


*I decided I love champagne.

*I applied to, was accepted to, and started graduate school.  I began on a path to a Masters of Library and Information Science, and after one semester realized it wasn't the right program for me.  Live and learn.  I changed to a Masters of Business Administration, focus in Human Resources Management, and think I am on a much better track!  

*I made extra efforts to keep us financially stable.  We already do well with it, but I put more thought into our investments and retirement accounts.  We bought a new car (for Wes), and have almost paid it off - thank goodness, because now we need a new car for me, as well.  

*I tried to address my allergies with a visit and tests with an allergist, but just learned I have some allergies, but mostly non-allergic rhinitis, so I can't do anything but pop a pill for symptoms.  Oh, well.  It could be worse.

*I became generally LESS interested in politics, and burnt out on the party-centered arguing and the inability of our leaders to set aside principals and just make decisions to put our country in the best possible position.  It frustrates me to the point of having to almost ignore it entirely, and just do the best I can in my own life.

*I took on new responsibilities at work, and have slowly become a more integral part of our team.  I also recently accepted the position of being the Lead Office Coordinator for the country, so that's adding a level of leadership to my plate.  I struggle with feeling bored or stagnant and really need to keep growing.

*I read a lot of books.  I saw a lot of movies.  I tried lots of new restaurants and foods.  I loved doing all of it, and suspect almost every year of my life will involve both of those things.


Looking ahead to the upcoming year, I feel a sense of calm.  Sure, there are stressful things in life, and I have some things to put thought into.  But I generally have a sense of peace.  And, as my favorite Christmas card ever simply said - "Peace is always beautiful."

Here's to what is hopefully a year of peace and beauty, in all of its forms.

Artist.

I love this quote - I often don't feel creative enough, but I need to remember that my works of art may not be conventional...

"I do believe it is possible to create, even without ever writing a word or painting a picture, by simply molding one's inner life. And that too is a deed." -Etty Hillesum

Romance.

I've had romance on my mind lately.  Maybe it's the lovely weather (ah, spring).  I've always loved romance.  It was easy to love in my dating years, because when people are dating (or "courting", you could say), they're always trying to be romantic to win someone over. 

But after being married for a couple of years (amazing that it's been this long!), romance changes forms, and it requires a lot more effort.  When you're dating, it involves effort to do anything together.  But once you're married and living together with a routine, the small things that would have been considered effort are simply just...normal.  

It's strange to sit back one day and realize that there's nothing WRONG with your marriage - nothing is going badly, no one is being mean.  But things are just plain-Jane, run of the mill, day to day normal.  You realize that neither husband nor wife has done anything wrong, but the spark has fizzled, and you've probably both let it happen.  When you were dating, there was constant reassurance of someone's feelings for you, constant effort to be caring and thoughtful.  You knew the person courting you was on your side.  But things slowly change, and it's easy to see your spouse as your opponent.  You find yourself subconsciously not being as loving, thoughtful, or supportive as you could be, simply because your partner isn't doing the same for you.  And then you're in a vicious cycle, of just not being wonderful to your partner because they aren't being wonderful to you - and it doesn't seem to get better.  There's no fight, no argument, no confrontations - just quiet.

I think it happens to every couple.  I see newly married and engaged couples, and they are always laughing, showing love, touching each other physically - you can tell they are still in a phase of wanting to show their feelings.  And then those of us who have been married for a while slip into thinking our partners should just know we love them without having to make effort to show it.


Thus, romance evades us.


Luckily, my husband and I saw this little issue creeping up and talked it out, and are making sure we break the cycle of marriage blahs.  We will be just fine.


No matter how long you've been married, I think everyone needs some romance, some special care.  Doing the dishes is helping, but it's not extra special care.  I have two general thoughts on what it takes to make something romantic:

1. It has to be out of the ordinary.  For example, we do dinner and a movie all the time, so if Wes planned that, it wouldn't be romantic.  He does dishes all the time, so that's not romantic.  I do laundry every week, so that's not romantic.  But for other couples with different routines, some of those things might be very special! 

2. It needs to require thought and purpose.  Anyone can buy flowers, that's not super special - unless they think about it and purposefully buy flowers their partner really enjoys.  Anyone can schedule a dinner date, so schedule something with an actual reason behind it (i.e. Mexican to remember your awesome trip to Mexico, maybe?) - as long as there's actual thought, effort, and loving reasoning behind something, it will feel special and not like someone just doing their marriage duty.



I know these thoughts are rambling, but it's just on my brain lately.  As much as people tend to write off romance as being cheesy, I think most relationships (in a sense, even friendships) could really use more of it.