Struggle.

I am struggling with feeling completely unimportant right now.  Sure, maybe it's selfish, but sometimes your heart just needs to feel like you're top priority for someone.  Ugh. 

Taking care of you.

I think there is so much to be said for taking care of yourself, nurturing yourself.  I was conversing with a friend today who is going through some tough stuff, and like me, she is a person of action; when things go wrong, it's in my nature to make a new plan, go a new direction.  But in the midst of that tough time, sometimes my perspective isn't great.  

I find that the number one helpful thing I can do is to nurture myself.  I write down all of the things that just make me happy, feel cozy and taken care of, etc.  Those things change over time.  Right now that list would be: reading books, traveling, movies, trying new restaurants, getting a massage, pilates, walking outside.  Sure, those are things I can do any time.  But when I'm down and am not sure what to do with myself, I have a ready made list of things that I know make me feel cared for.  And after I spend a few weeks doing these things, my perspective is better and I am more able to reflect on things in life I may want to change.

I know most of us don't seem to have time to care for ourselves, we're too busy taking care of spouses, children, pets, parents, friends.  But in truth, I don't believe I can care for another being well if I am not healthy (emotionally) myself.  Some will believe that's selfish.  I know several people who did not like "Eat, Pray, Love" because they felt Elizabeth (the author) was selfish.  But I completely related to her.  She needed to take care of herself and heal.  And she took the time and spent the money to do so.  I think that's not only right of her, but necessary for her to grow as a person, be happy, and be able to care for others.

 

Finding extra dollars and cents right under your nose...

In the process of budgeting and controlling our finances, I have learned quite a few things about finding the extra bucks sitting right in front of me.  For us, it's all about not being lazy.

For example, we have a storage unit in Kennesaw.  It's not a huge cost, just $34.00 per month.  But I don't drive up to it very often.  So every couple of months, I'd check online for storage specials closer to us, and I found one - for 1 month free and $27.00 a month.  When I calculated it out and also estimated less gas for the times I do visit the unit, we're saving a little over $100 in a year.  Sure, it's not a huge sum, but I'll take that $100.

We're also re-evaluating our car insurance.  When we bought Wes's new car, we had to immediately buy car insurance, and we did.  But now that we have time, it's worth checking into listing me as the primary driver, as women are considered less risky, and I'm a year older than him as well.  We'll be checking on that very soon.


Coupon shopping takes time, but it saves bucks.  Southernsavers.com is awesome for bringing together all the coupons you could need for the grocery store of your choice.  I once saved $40.00 on $85.00 worth of groceries - almost half!  


 

Sigh.

Big sigh this evening.

The dog is officially driving me nuts.  She is just being bad.  She ate an entire bowl of cat food and just pooped all over the living room floor and I am not happy.  She wants to chew everything on my body (not everything else, just my clothes and limbs) - bad day with her.

If you have a friend you'd usually go to when things are tough, but they have a tough time and don't want or need to speak to you about it, are you even really friends or just acquaintances?  I have about one friend who is actually a good friend and doesn't drive me crazy - I can try all day long to overlook things about people that bother me and enjoy them anyway, but is that just lying to myself to keep thinking we're really friends?  If I don't enjoy being around them, why chase them around trying to be buddies?  Wouldn't it be better to just be honest and move on, make friends I really enjoy, and who enjoy me enough to care? 

Still bored with school even though my grades are near perfect...should I still be pursuing this if it's not holding my attention?

 


 

Macy - 12 weeks old.

...not that I compare a puppy to a human baby with the "___ weeks old thing" - I am just trying to chronicle how things are going as she grows.

And growing is one thing she is really doing!  She seems to have doubled in size in two weeks.  She has such personality.  She is fantastically loving - she just wants to love, kiss, cuddle and play with every human and animal she sees.  Callie (our cat) will now come into the same room and sit with us, but she doesn't particularly want Macy to play with her.  That's fine, Callie's old and as long as she's OK being out and about, they're both happy.  

So we get LOTS of puppy love and kisses right now.  Today Macy had her first long walk with Wes - down by the Chattahoochee river - up and down hills, surrounding by distractions, but she was a trooper and walked/ran for well over an hour and a half, keeping up with him all the way.  She loves being outside, and she loves to run.

And tonight was another first - her first bath here with us.  We had her bathed and groomed last week, but did it ourselves tonight.  She was quite good - tried to jump out a bit, but didn't cry or go nuts.  After she got clean and dry, she was fantastically hyper.

She learned "sit" in about two days.  The problem is that she's too smart now - I won't even have any treats or say "sit" and she'll just plop down dutifully in front of me and look from my face to my hand, waiting for a treat.  What do you do with a puppy who sits when you don't say "sit" - ?  Ha!

Macy is doing much better with her crate.  At night, she lays down without a whimper and goes to sleep.  She doesn't especially love being left home alone, but only because she loves people so much, and I come home every few hours (down to only one visit at lunch time) so she's fine.  

We get lots of laughs out of Macy's antics and general puppy behavior.  She turns somersaults when being fed, runs laps through the whole apartment when she's really excited, and can jump like a bunny.  She has already torn one plush toy apart, so we tossed that one and bought a new one - a hippo that she loves.  She also loves chasing a ball and letting it roll away...she is going to be a major fetch dog.  

Macy growls at the toilet brush like it's a true nemesis.  Then she drags it across the room - gross.

And this morning - this is rated PG-13 - as Wes was doing his morning business, Macy decided to snuggle up in his pants for a nap.  Real nice.

Thursday thoughts...

There's a reason we don't have children.  It's hard to even take care of a puppy.  She's so very sweet and truly loves us, and that's rewarding.  But that alone time we used to enjoy?  Non-existent now.  Not sure how old she has to be before she's no longer a baby...

It's the time factor that makes things hard.  We simply can't leave her in the crate all day and all evening, so we can't go out to dinner.  She's too young to take out somewhere.  Sigh.

I am not complaining about having her, really.  It's just a big adjustment, and we have always REALLY loved our alone time.  No-one to have to talk to, just quietness.  Our own comfortable routine.  The ability to go somewhere whenever we like.  Now we're tied to home, and it's a change.

I am bored with school.  Some of the topics are interesting, yes.  But it's just so drawn out.  Did I make a mistake in deciding to go to graduate school?  I don't think so.  I think if I wait until I am older, I won't go.  This is the best time, and I am lucky to be in a prestigious program that I can do from home and at a good price.  I am just a little bored.

The weather is so gorgeous here right now.  Not hot, not cold, just cool outside.  Beautiful clear skies and changing leaves.  It's my favorite time of year, and I feel like I'm not outside in this enough.

I am not feeling so excited for Halloween this year.  I welcome the thought of curling up with a good scary book (or maybe just Harry Potter), some cider, and some candle-light.  Can't be bothered to do the costume and party thing this year.


I don't have enough tradition in my life.  I see other people who have true holiday traditions that they can always count on and always look forward to.  We never really know what we're doing for any holiday.  If we ever do have children, I hope we can establish some special yearly things to always look forward to (and I don't mean gifts, I mean actually doing things together).

Having a blah week, I guess.

New Orleans Recap

Friday:
Sister arrived to puppy-sit.
We got into traffic and arrived with exactly 46 minutes to get checked in.
Delta rep says we are too late and that we have to take another flight (NOT HAPPY).
Another Delta rep says there are no more flights, and basically tells us to go home (no refund for airfare or hotel), I cry.
Another Delta rep comes up and gets us two seats on the next flight in about 60 seconds - strange that the first one was just a jerk!
I have a margarita to relax before the flight, as I was pretty stressed by this point.  The margarita helped tremendously.
Fly to New Orleans, check into lovely hotel on Canal (Marriott).
Walk through the French Quarter and have our first drinks on Bourbon - Hand Grenades.

Saturday:
Take the streetcar through the Garden District to Uptown, admiring lovely homes along the way.

Had breakfast (after a long wait) at the highly-recommended Camellia Grill.

 

Walked through the Garden District more and ended up in Audobon Park and the zoo - had a lovely afternoon there.  More photos on Facebook.

 

Went back to the hotel and had a nap and long soaks in hot baths (very nice), got cleaned up and headed out for a seafood dinner.  Ended up back on Bourbon, having drinks and popping into different places - I LOVE how one venue is rock music, the next is funk, and the next is hip hop - never gets boring!

Sunday: Breakfast at Cafe Fleur de Lis...

Lots of walking around Jackson Square, into the Cathedral, over by Cafe du Monde and into the French Market.

...and then we headed back home!  Will definitely be returning to New Orleans, hopefully with a fun group of friends.

We returned home to the Macy dog.

 

 Interesting things about the city overall...


It's a very odd juxtaposition of old and new.  There will be gorgeous re-modeled homes beside homes falling apart.  The citizens of the city don't seem to feel that new is beautiful, but old has character.  

There's also a huge variety in the people visiting - ALL ages, all colors, etc.  Lots of bachelor and bachelorette parties, quite a few weddings.  People in New Orleans are SERIOUS Saints fans...the Saints weren't even playing in town, but the fans were decked out all weekend.  There are TV's in all of the bars and nightclubs - we were at a beach-theme bar, dancing in the middle of a large crowd, when a ton of people started cheering - for an LSU touchdown.  How did they watch the game, dance and cheer all at the same time?


There is always a feeling of celebration in the streets of New Orleans, and that I did love.